I'm sorry you're feeling this way, too.
I'm 47 and have had UC since I was 20, several flares and several remissions, and I am currently flaring badly and experiencing a lot of the emotions you describe. The sense of isolation and loneliness can be overwhelming.
Please know that there are many of us who understand exactly what you're going through. The one thing I keep doing to try to help myself is to be
open with my husband about
everything, seek support from the one friend who gets it, walk my dog, focus on small tasks, and try to keep my mind going back to the right now instead of the what ifs. I have limited success but I keep at it since I don't really know another way.
Hope that helps somehow. Hang in there.