Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, any advice?

There's some days where I am positive about my outlook on surgery coming up, and I feel like it could be good for me and I won't run into as many problems as I think. but then there are days like today where I just feel so overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the idea of waking up with my digestive system being changed and having a new operating system to learn with. Overwhelmed about the learning curve and the new issues I could run into. Reading things online sometimes doesn't help the stress, (people saying they never get a good night sleep, worrying about this or that) sometimes it just seems like so much. I've been flaring for a year which has completely destroyed my quality of life at 20 years old, but right now, before surgeries, I feel like i haven't even started the rollercoaster because the healing process will take time as will adjusting to my new digestive situation. I understand in so many cases that this surgery improves your quality of life! But sometimes it's hard to stay positive and motivated. I'm seeing how I adjust to an ileostomy before making decisions to move forward with the jpouch or to keep my ileostomy permanent. I may lean towards ileostomy just because I'm not sold on taking the risks the jpouch may not work well for me but I will decide that after my first surgery. But if anyone has anything positive to help me get out of this little emotional battle please share thank you guys.

It's not just this surgery it's any surgery that would give me anxiety. I just want to know the reality of it and if it's worse in my head than I'm thinking. Having to wake up with your body functioning differently and not knowing what is normal is just really worrisome to me

DBwithUC said...
they do the temp ostomy and the perm ostomy differently, so discuss this plan with your doc. you will need a 2nd surgery no matter what. but the procedure to make the ostomy permanent is less recovery.

i hear you anxiety - and contemplating recovery from any major surgery is an ordeal. but not alot different than the recovery from gastric bypass, or from having organs removed, or having part of a lung removed, or from open heart surgery ... don't let the digestive aspects make this seem like so much more than the many recoveries form the many surgeries people have all the time.

good luck

I would focus on the majority experience, and not focus on edge-cases or outliers of everything that can possibly go wrong. As you're only going to drive yourself batty and your anxiety through the roof. The odds are you won't have a miserable experience. It's good to be aware that complications can occur, but not good to worry that they'll all happen to you!

Some here who've undergone the surgery have had a walk in the park, comparatively, like NotSoSicklyGirl.

Knowledge is power but also drives us nuts with anxiety. Have you considered unplugging from the Internet for a while if it is driving your anxiety up? Maybe ignorance is bliss?

Not sure how to tag/reply more than one person so hopefully iPoop, you see this too! Yes the internet has done me some good and some harm, and you are so right Nice, the reassurance doesn't last and then that leaves me to freak out. My surgery I think would just be a colectomy at first due to how sick I am I think the rectum would come out later. But yeah I am on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds have been for years and that doesn't seem to do much for this situation its a whole new ballpark for me. I think the idea that once I have this surgery it's still not going to be over for me is something that scares me a lot. It feels like I've been on this rollercoaster for so long and I haven't even begun and even after the first surgery, I will just need to look at a next and apparently harder surgery(rectum removed/Barbie butt) Also, i have yet to come across a positive story about getting the rectum removed. Is this the reality that it is just really difficult? Unplugging will do me good in a way, but then my anxious self will be wanting to look things up and want to know answers. I'm sorry I'm a mess guys I wish I was able to do this easily but it just feels like it never ends and hasn't even begun

NiceCupOfTea said...
Yes, at this stage you seem to be doing yourself more harm than good. Perhaps you are reassured briefly by a good story, but it's clear the reassurance doesn't last. And as you can't control what info you come across, you're also bound to come across more bad stories again, which undoes any good the good stories might have done.

If surgery is a definite at this point - and I'd say for you you have no real other choice - then I'd say try to deliberately stop thinking about it so much. I have loads of anxiety about loads of things, nothing of which anyone can really reassure me about. That's because most of my anxieties are based in the future (near and far) and nobody is a mind reader who can tell me what will happen. I can't get rid of the anxiety but I try not to focus on it. If all else fails antidepressants can be quite good for stopping or reducing repetitive thoughts that go around in circles. It won't make you a new person. The underlying anxiety will still be there, you'll just care less about things in general (at least that's been my experience of them). That can be both good and bad. At any rate, it's something to consider.

I'm a worrier too. Always have been. And probably always will be.

The thing is, you can't force yourself to forget about your troubles. You can only force yourself to think about something else, and by default that makes you forget about your concerns for however long.

The one thing I know for sure is that internet research has a point of diminishing returns. Once you are sufficiently informed about your condition and the treatments and things to watch out for, further reading will only serve to scare you off.

Several months ago, one of the moderators said something to the effect of: "People who get the surgery and have no problems rarely show back up on the internet forums to tell their side of the story. So mostly what you see are the people that have had issues and that leaves an impression on us that a larger portion of people have issues than really do."

That makes sense to me. Hopefully you can take some solace in that. If not, those birds iPoop mentioned are pretty darn cute. That might do the trick for a short while.