Uncertainty of flare

I'm struggling right now. Two months ago I had a bout of bloody stools that my GI said were most likely from hemorrhoids since I had no other UC symptoms. I had diarrhea but I suspect it was from the milk I drank. I hadn't had milk in a while and felt like having a glass. I know not to drink it now. I was prescribed Anugesic-HC suppositories and that kept the hemorrhoids gone while I was using them. After about a month I stopped using them.

Anyways, yesterday I had blood on the toilet paper when wiping. After the bowel movement, there was a sharp pain right at the exit. When I wiped, there was fresh red blood on the paper. My GI said a few appts ago that I probably have some sort of trauma from my awful first flare. It's true, I don't think I can live through another flare. I'm scared. I bumped Zoloft 50mg to 75mg almost 30 days ago and it hasn't made much change. To make matters worse, I think I caught a virus from my nephew since he stayed over on the weekend. He's sick and so is his family. I had a cough and being on Humira, I got scared thinking of what could happen. So you see, it's a couple of things compounded onto UC. I had the runs yesterday. I was hungry but afraid to eat. It was awful. Even now, I don't know what's going on inside my body. I have a rice cake and a tangerine in front of me for the past hour and I have no desire to eat.

I just don't know what to do. Could it be hemorrhoids still and my case is just a bad one? Is my gut taking a beating from the virus? Does anyone else have intestinal issues when dealing with other illnesses? I have a colonoscopy scheduled in September. I don't know what to before then. If it's worth upping Asacol and adding enemas or what. I'm taking 3.2g Asacol daily and Humira weekly.

I'm surprised at myself. I thought I was stronger than this. Honestly, I'm tearing up writing this. Thank you for all the help.

The anxiety that you feel when your symptoms kick up is hard to deal with. I usually try to turn it to resolve. Resolve to do whatever it takes to beat the symptoms back down. Not much else you can really do.

Of course having a support network in place is important, especially a GI Doc that you can get access to in a hurry.

Over time I have learned what works and what doesn't work, so I can have some confidence that I can get the flare under control. It decreases the uncertainty which helps.