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Awkward sex question...

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 11/5/2018 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
DISCLAIMER: I'm a bisexual male and I do enjoy anal sex. If you have a moral issue with that, then I'd appreciate if you didn't participate in this topic.

I'm wondering if it would be a big risk to receive anal sex or any kind of anal penetration (i.e. with sex toys) because it could trigger my UC. Right now I'm in remission (colonoscopy confirmed, bloods normal), but I don't want to push it.

A couple of weeks ago I tried putting a sex toy up there that I've used for years and it didn't seem like it could fit properly. When I pushed a little bit, it felt like something in my bowel stretched and broke... I don't know how to describe it. Something "gave way". It was slightly painful and the few next days I felt sore down there. After that my BMs were normal size whereas they were more skinny before. I'm assuming that I pushed through a stricture / scar tissue or something? My colonoscopy report doesn't talk about narrowing.

I know that some proctologists use anal stretching devices to help with strictures and poor circulation with fissures, so this isn't that much different.

Sex toys tend to be harder and less flexible than the real thing, but the real thing also has a lot more mechanical friction.

If it means potentially having a flare, then I'd begrudgingly give up anal sex, even though it's part of who I am sexually.

I don't expect people here to have a lot of personal experience with this but I'm prepared to be surprised. Thoughts are welcome smile
Posted 11/5/2018 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
It's actually asked more than you'd think, anal-play and UC (women asking and/or guys asking). If you are in a remission then you are essentially normal and should be able to do whatever you want without limitations, this included. That does NOT cause flareups.

Given, we can have hemmeroids which are painful (maybe that's what it was?) just like anyone can. A couple mostly unique issues to us are anal-fissures (small paper-like tear just within or near the sphincter opening), and/or abscesses (looks like a pimple, on the outside in the vicinity of the sphincter). Abscesses can burst and release puss/blood. Hemis are the most common by far, anal-fissures and/or Perianal-abscess are rare but happen. Fissures are a thing too but pretty rare as well.

I doubt you have any strictures or rectal narrowing unless you have had UC for a long time, decades or more.
Posted 11/6/2018 4:43 AM (GMT 0)
Anal sex in any way or form does NOT cause a flare. If you are in remission then it should be no issue, however if you are flaring or “simmering” it might aggravate things. While in remission, depending on how long you’ve had UC, more scar tissue can build up. To be honest, it kind of sounds like you had scar tissue that gave way. But keep an eye on it.
Posted 11/6/2018 2:56 PM (GMT 0)
I have nothing to add to the answer, but I just want to say: YOU DO YOU. Don't ever be embarrassed to ask a question on this forum or of your doctor. If there is one thing having UC has taught me it is that there is no place for embarrassment when talking about our bodies and our health -- especially our rectums and what goes in them and what comes out of them.
Posted 11/6/2018 7:08 PM (GMT 0)
Mark,
as a gay man I can tell you that having penetrative sex with ulcerative colitis is completely fine. Of course if you are bleeding or experiencing discomfort probably the last thing you will want to do is to add any stressor to the area but if you are in remission then all should be fine.
I would not be able to comment on what happened to you while playing with the sex toy as it has never happened to me but, in the past, when I have not had penetrative sex for a while I experienced the same thing so maybe it could be that the area needs to get used to it again? Just a though I might be completely wrong.
I suffered from an anal fissure in the past and the doctor told me to use size increasing sex toys for a while before having penetrative sex with a man in order to get used to it again and of course liters of lube.
Best of luck.
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