I have a date for surgery

NiceCupOfTea said...
As for the spider, if it dares shows up again in my room, it is dead lol. The stupid thing fell from the ceiling onto the bookshelf right above my head in bed. I nervously pulled out books one at a time. Just when I thought it wasn't there and must have gone down the side of the bed, it scuttled out from the books. Cue several more minutes of it disappearing behind books and me pulling them out before I finally get a good opportunity to trap it in a glass. Took it downstairs to the furthest away point from my bedroom and dumped it unceremoniously in a corner. I could not have done it if it had been one of the really big beasts, I think. But I probably could not have done it with this particular spider a couple of years ago. My arachnophobia is improving!

Between you and Sarah (she saves the lives of mice), I feel like I am an inter-species mass murderer because if I see them (spiders) or hear them (mice) they die - no mercy.

Glad you are doing better!

CC and Serenity.... Lol... I am so glad there are others out there like me.

My husband and kids are catch and release, and many times the culprit has gotten away cause I am arguing with my kids or spouse about "getting rid" of them...

NCOT,
I hope you are feeling better every day. Please update when you can.

Clo

Spiders give me the willies! As a gardener I realize and respect how good they are at capturing and eating other bothersome bugs. So if they’re outside I let them be (except for black widows which really give me the shivers) but I just cannot tolerate them in the house. And I’m too scared of them to try a catch and release. They might jump on me or something!

If spiders in your home really bring you good luck, I should have won the lottery by now <_<. At least bookshelf bro never returned. Maybe he read my post on the.... world wide web :p

A friend of mine suggested hospital transport for getting to my appointment next Wednesday. I never even considered that. It would certainly beat spending £60-80 on taxis or trying to connect multiple buses. I'll give the hospital a call on Monday morning!

I think postoperative depression caught up with me today. Very low and sad all day. Fortunately I feel a bit better. Actually, thinking about it now, it could have been a response to overdoing it yesterday. Went shopping with my mum, which was nice, but we did do a lot of walking. One thing about it that I *really* appreciated was the lack of bathroom trips. From that point of view, the surgery has already been worth it. The hideous, relentless urgency has gone.

"Maybe he read my post on the.... world wide web :p" Hee hee!!

NCOT,

LOL... He might have been swinging on a web over your shoulder while you were typing. He read it and decided to hide out for awhile... Or else he went for reinforcements. 🤔

Glad that you were able to get out with your Mum and that you didn't have to worry about the bathroom situation. Be careful about over doing it.

Medical transport... That is something that you could look into. I hope that's available for you. Paying for rides is so expensive. If that doesn't work maybe the local doctor would have some idea,??

On the depression. I think I go thru periods like that after my surgeries. My Colorectal surgeon said he thinks it's the anesthesia and your body healing/adjusting to the changes.

Very glad to see your post though. Hang in there and let us know how your doctor's visit goes.

Clo

NCOT - any new spideys? Hopefully they will bring you luck since you saved it's life lol

NCOT,

Thinking of you. Hope all is going well.

Just a heads up... DO NOT, do not... Run the vacuum with duct tape over that little hose thing. Apparently it can burn out the motor.... LOL. (Hey in my defense I was scared they'd get out and retaliate.) No worries, the smoke has cleared from the house and I can no longer smell the burning rubbery smell.... Alittle longer and I'm gonna see if it starts back up.

Hugs!
Clo

Hello everyone.

I saw the surgeon yesterday. But I backed out of trying to get hospital transport after phoning the number my friend gave me and hearing the words 'ambulance service' in the pre-recorded message. I felt like I couldn't justify taking up an ambulance, so I used the same taxi firm that I went home from the hospital with. My mum came with me and paid half, so in the end the price wasn't even that much, especially as we used a much cheaper firm based in the hospital area rather than my mum's totally rip off local taxi firm.

The appointment went well but damn it, I was weirdly sad afterwards. My surgeon said how well I looked and we talked about how I was doing, the prospect of the Crohn's returning, and a few other things - like what I could do with my life now that I was no longer tied to bathrooms. I also thanked her for doing the surgery. In fact she's done all three of my surgeries. Yesterday was almost certainly the last time I'll ever see her - even if I need more surgery in the future, she will probably be retired by then. And even though I don't know her well, that thought depressed me. I'll soon be seeing my lovely stoma nurse for the last time too (she was there after my first surgery). I just hate saying goodbye to nice people - perhaps because I meet so few of them nowadays. People that I used to see regularly - my GP, care coordinators, etc. - have all gone. Thanks to a combination of Covid and Brexit, I cannot see anyone anymore. That's not going to get any better either. It's frustrating and worrying to have no avenues of help/support for the foreseeable future.

And that's why I've been so down, or at least partly why. I don't miss being ill but I do sometimes find myself missing the care that I got in hospital. It's weird: when I'm in hospital all I want to do is go home. But when I get home I do miss certain aspects of hospital life. Don't worry: it's a temporary condition >_>. I'm better than I was, but if past experience is anything to go by, it will take a few months before I'm completely back to normal. Both physically and mentally. Having pre-existing depression probably makes it take much longer as well.

But at least I'm finally starting to feel better again. I did some gardening with my mum today. At first it appeared to make no difference to my low mood but after an hour I noticed I felt significantly better. Or maybe it was just the oxy kicking in, lol. (I only take it twice a day and have reduced the daytime dose. I could probably stop it completely now but I still get some pain, especially at night, so I would rather not.)

No more spiders, at least not indoors. But loads of outdoors ones. I don't mind outdoor spiders though - that's where all spiders should be ;p

Okay, I am tired and am gonna go to bed now. Night, folks. Take care.

PS: Nicky, I am sorry about your father. That's pretty tragic. It is a cliche, I know, but at least he is no longer suffering.

PPS: Thanks to everyone in this thread for your support. It has helped me these past few weeks. Thank you.

NCOT...all sounds fairly emotionally normal considering what you've been through and how much your life situation has changed. I can relate to doctor retirement, maternity leaves, covid changing people's perspectives, political turmoil, etc...all can create a sense of w t f and grief with the constant insecurity because everything has changed so deamatically. No such thing of innocent functioning anymore.

In 1975, I had a collapsed lung for the 4th time (which I was never told re previous ones) and was thankfully admitted to hospital (for a month). After several tubings, I had to have open chest surgery to repair and abrade and stitch my lung to my chest wall. It was a long and very painful recovery. I was also in a dysfunctional marriage, and we were living with my alcoholic mother (because of being between living situations). I wished daily my other lung would collapse so that I could go back to the hospital and be cared for again (even though I was depressed daily while there...but the demerol was good) . So I get that part.

Hang tough...as you always do. You're healing from many things at this point. It takes time. I suspect you're an amazing support for your mom, and you both will heal together. Do a day at a time...for you never know what tomorrow will be like. I admire how you're able to express yourself and how incredibly insightful and introspective and logical you are.

Huge hugs,
q

NCOT,

I'm sorry you are feeling sorta sad. Anesthesia can impact your emotions for awhile after surgery. The thing that helps me the most is going outside. Last time I had surgery I bundled up in blankets and just sat out where the sun could get to me. I usually felt better afterwards.

I too missed seeing a lot of My doctors and nurses after surgery. I see the ones that have practices that I go to.. but the hospital had some nurses and doctors that helped me. I enjoyed them so much. The last time I went in (during COVID) I didn't get to see any of them. That made me sorta sad.... So I understand what you are saying.

Are you going to be staying with your Mum for awhile? If you do you'll have a place to garden and company. I loved staying with my Mom when I got older. She was my best friend.... Although there were times when I had to hide out in my room when she was cranky.

Your feelings are very normal. You are still healing and you are going thru changes with your thought process subconsciously. Suddenly you don't have to look for a bathroom, you are feeling healthier and your trying to figure out how that's going to impact you and what it's going to change. It's an adjustment period. Hang in there and come talk to us here when you need to.

Q... OMG... That sounds just...Well beyond painful. I'm sorry you had to go thru that. I know it's not the same.... Once my mother in law came for a visit. I kept thinking that something was wrong and I needed to go to the hospital. (Until my kids brought it to my attention.) I realized that I just wanted someone to take care of me for awhile...

Oh.... Just an FYI.... The vacuum started back up. I guess it just overheated. Now I don't leave it on as long..... Learning curve.

Stay safe and healthy!

Clo

NCOT,

How are you doing?. Have been thinking of you and hoping your recovery is going smoothly.

Clo

Haven't heard from her. Her email address is in her profile. Have you tried sending her and email?