Friends and Family

OLD POST from 2007

"IBS (Irritable Bowell Syndrome) is frequently confused with IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease). My wife is even guilty after being told for 12 years: "they are not the same and food and stress are not the cause of my flares". I am in remission and feeling great but my best friend yesterday just told me to, "Take is easy about the football game; you don't want to end up on the toilet all day tomorrow". He's had 23 years worth of me telling him, "It's not stress or food".



I suppose it's the times during flares when I'm "picky" about foods. "I can't eat the salad because the raw vegetables scrape against the open sore in my colon and causes pain and bleeding", I want to tell them. Also, everyone wants to advise me, "you need to eat more fresh fruit and vegetables; that's why your colon is so messed up".



Actually, my colon is messed up because I have an autoimmune disease. Just had to vent a little.

Thank You"

So, the 2015 Burli updated this and changed my thinking somewhat
(I added an updated post below)

Post Edited (Burli) : 3/3/2015 12:41:08 PM (GMT-7)

Stress may not cause a flare, but it probably doesn't help either! I use it to my advantage -- for instance, I now drive everywhere because my husband's driving stresses me out (totally!), and we're all a lot happier. If my kids are arguing and getting on my nerves, I tell them to cut it out because I don't need the stress and that they're making my stomach hurt. Okay, that's a "guilt trip", but it works!!

Burli said...
IBS (Irritable Bowell Syndrome) is freqently confused with IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease). My wife is even guilty after being told for 12 years: "they are not the same and food and stress are not the cause of my flares".  I am in remission and feeling great but my best friend yesterday just told me to, "Take is easy about the football game; you don't want to end up on the toilet all day tomorrow". He's had 23 years worth of me telling him, "It's not stress or food".

I suppose it's the times during flares when I'm "picky" about foods. "I can't eat the salad because the raw vegatibles scrape against the open sore in my colon and causes pain and bleeding", I want to tell them. Also, everyone wants to advise me, "you need to eat more fresh fruit and vegetables; that's why your colon is so messed up".

Actually, my colon is messed up because I have an autoimmune disease. Just had to vent a little.

Thank you.

AMEN! 

Stress does cause increase in Sx's, but not in the way people think. Stress decreases the body's natural ability to fight off the illness--vulnerability--stress doesn't cause the sx's, but lowers your own resistances. Does that make sense? I know what I want to say, but writing it down is different somehow. My theory about all the friend and family advice is that people have difficulty with accepting that someone can become ill without any fault of their own doing; if it can happen to you, it can happen to them--it's all fear based. I can almost see the fear and disbelief in peoples eyes when I tell them my story--no family history, healthy lifestyle during initial Sx's, exerciser, etc. They always go to maybe you should eat this, maybe you should try this. Everyone want's the magic cure, and I totally understand that, but sometimes it is what it is--and there is a certain Zen to that perpective.

I agree (generally) I'm forever being told to avoid certain foods by people who don't know what they're talking about, and when I'm particularly bad it's "What did you eat yesterday then?" as if I'm being blamed for it. Although if I am in a bad way I find I can't eat red meat, especially unprocessed such as steak or sausage rolls. I guess the steak is because I'm having to digest it far more than most foods, no idea why the sausage rolls apart from they go right through me before I've even finished eating them!

The classic one for me is either gluten or dairy, my mother-in-law has an intolerance to both, so naturally they must be the cause of the uc!!

I do find that stress adds to the symptons though, certainly if I'm already flaring (which I normally am!)

What about alcohol though? I can have a few drinks, but much more and I'll pay for it.

well, when they dont believe you about having to go and GO NOW (as we do), just crap on their shoe.  or invite them to the loo with you so they can hear all the moaning and groaning and pain your in.  my family just recently saw me after 2 years and realized that i am really sick.  probably cuz im 30lbs skinnier and look sick. or was it the need for a plastic bag in the loo with me so i can puke and crap at the same time due to the pain.  they sure shut up now. 

and the whole needing to "go now" thing really isnt understood by anyone unless they have this problem.  my grandma was notorious for always having to RUN (fast) to the toilet no matter where we were at and the poor thing only made it half the time.  and you just dont get it until your there. now that im there i totally understand her sitation.  the good ol' sphincter muscles just dont do what you want them to with this disease.  they really do have a mind of their own dont they.

Continuation of an old thread...I've realized I was very stressed at this time in my life and flaring.
My flares up to this point always followed a very severe illness (flu, mono, food poisoning). I'm still not certain the role of stress but admit stress plays a direct role in our immune system and might have been an issues for me at this time (my fried was correct - sort of).
Stress, combined with not taking proper care of myself as I put all energy into my house, wife, kids and work instead of taking caring for myself more. Certainly adding the wearing down of my body in athletic training, girls coming home sick with viruses then hitting the road for weekend soccer and gymnastics meets, etc. I was under a flare here and very frustrated and really didn't feel stressed about a football game so wrote this rant but I was under a lot of other stress.
Kids are older and I'm just able to take more time caring for me plus am better at work at saying 'no'.
No longer gunning for that promotion help immensely.
I talked to therapists after this 2007 year and am at better peace with my life.
I rest more along with doing less and don't get sick like I used to.
I'm too stubborn to say my friend was correct about stress of a football game (I record and take walks on football games which really bother me). I have read too many facts, though, about stress and the link to the immune system to say stress doesn't contribute to flares.
But, folks still want me to eat fresh fruit I cannot tolerate and raw vegetables ('it's healthier; that's why your colon is so messed up" - it doesn't bother me anymore; they mean well)which I cannot tolerate so I'm half correct here (or half wrong). lol
Be happy my friends! Take care of yourself and don't chase money for happiness.