Afraid to date

Well i cancelled another date at the last minute tonight because my stomache was hurting and i have major gas.The fact that ive been having to pull over on the side of the road and  go to the bathroom in a tub in my backseat this past week on my way to work hasnt calmed the nerves much either.  Im afraid it will happen on the date. Guess im destine to work, take care of my son and stay home and have no life. Anyone feel the same?

Lft sided uc in remission

Asacol 2 3xaday

protonix

folic acid

ativan

ambien

 

I felt like I was destined to be alone as well. I then, just became very honest with myself and everyone around me. While shopping for groceries, I ran into a very wonderfull woman, we exchanged numbers, and I told her that I am not interested in the traditional dating scene and explained my situation. We spent many nights at my house watiching movies, dinners, playing cards and board games. Six years later, we are happily married with a beautiful 2 year old baby girl.  I also bought a projection screen tv and invite all my friends over for movies and popcorn, big dinner parties, game nights.  I know its not quite the same, but you do what you have to.  If they are true friends, they will be by your side.

Nobody is ever destined to be alone, unless you choose that destiny.
Hang in there.

ps...I carry a port-o-potty in the back of my truck too.

I agree with Carlow that being open and honest about it can make things a lot easier. With someone you've just met it can be kind of awkward. (Why do people have such a deep interesting in knowing *exactly* what's wrong when you say you don't feel well??) It's not that romantic to worry about running to the bathroom, but I have to believe that there are ways to still be social and somewhat comfortable.

Even when I'm just meeting friends, I tend to pick the restaurant and I suggest one that I know has good bathrooms and a menu of foods I want to eat. Or, something I just tell people that we should just meet after dinner because I want to eat simply at home by myself.

I think the key is to NOT consider yourself a "problem" and believe that you can meet someone who will love you and understand that you're a stronger person for dealing with a chronic disease.

Hm... maybe there's a cute GI doctor you could date? :)

Don't get down. This is something you can work through. At the time things happen it's terrifying but thinking back I laugh at some things I've been through. Here's some interesting times...

Before meeting my wife I asked this girl out to a movie. That went okay but in dropping her off I had to use her bathroom. She had a small condo--I really stunk that place up bad and made lots of noise. I remember searching her cabinets for spray. I told her it must have been something I ate. (she probably thought, "what did he eat, rotton fish guts?"

On our second date I asked her to a concert (Grover Washington Jr.). In the middle of the thing I had to go again (now's she's probably wondering if I have a problem). I left the concert hall for the bathroom and "NO!" a line. By the time I got to the can I had messed my pants. I hid the messey underware behind the toilet and returned to the date. After the 3rd or 4th date I told her about my problems and it went a lot smoother.

In college I messed my pants at a party. I was too embarrassed to confess my troubles (I also had a date) so I went into the bedroom of the host and swiped two pair of his clean underwear. I cleaned up with one pair and changed into the second. I was going to sneak the now two pairs of dirty underwear out but I heard my date calling my name and coming my way. All I could think to do was to quickly wad up the messy underwear and hide them behind a dresser. I hate to think of the mess someone had to clean up.

I have two girls now--they understand more than my wife. I've marked my territory at Yellowstone, Statue of Liberty, on ski slopes, Disney World, on Bourbon Street, NY subway, probably in every state of the US by now. I have yet to travel overseas to mark portions of Europe but I'm planning a trip soon.

Tip of the day: When squatting down to go make sure your shoes are clearly out of harms way

While in a car with several co-workers we got stuck in traffic. Even though only minutes away from the office I had to go then. In the middle of a traffic jam I jumped out as the driver handed me a pair of his kid's socks. Now they all have a good laugh at my expense when thinking back. I told him recently that now that his son is older and wearing bigger socks I can make sure to get every bit. You have to laugh at yourself. I have girls of 11 and 9 that really understand my situation--kids are really caring aren't they.

Just a question......does nobody wear protective underwear? (adult diapers) I was very hessitant and embarrassed to even think about having to wear anything like that, but I picked up a pack of Depends and gave them a try. They work great, and they take a lot of pressure and ansiety off my mind knowing that if something happend, well at least its not going to be a complete disaster. I also carry a kids napsack everywhere I go with a couple extra's in there and some wipes, change of cloths, and some kitchen garbage bags. Im good to go. But right now, whenever I go out, im wearing that little extra protection. Its worth the peice of mind.