Having Kids and UC

I've decided not to have kids but my UC is only one of many reasons behind that decision. I was a sickly child for the first few years as were both my sisters. I have a few weird things that I'd be scared of passing on and would be worried that I'd be sickly myself with a sickly child plus would have to work full time and just wouldn't cope. However, the real deal-breaker for me though is that my youngest sister has Schizophrenia. Now that my family knows so much more about the disease, both Mum and Dad think they have/had close relatives with milder versions of it, so it is lurking in the genes. That is something I'd never, ever risk passing on. My sister is doing quite well compared to other people with Schizophrenia we know, but she still has a terrible life, with very little joy and happiness. Mum called me the other night to say that my sister with Schizophrenia has been having D with blood so we are really hoping she isn't getting UC as well. Hopefully just a stomach bug and/or her hemmies playing up. Sigh, that would be all she needs.

But just the UC by itself wouldn't be a big deal for me - I'd figure that even if the child developed it in the future, medical science would have developed some cool treatments by then.

However, I'm a bit like Julee70 in that I don't think I was that keen on children anyway, so the health issues are an easy explanation for myself and others. It's a bit annoying that you have to justify NOT having children but no one is ever asked to justify having children!

This is an interesting thread and I've enjoyed reading everyone's replies.

As some of you know, I had two children before I came down with UC and one after. I flared throughout the last pregnancy but made it through with a healthy son. We have absolutely no family anywhere near us so it is challenging if I'm not feeling well. Children are not for everyone and there's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing not to have them. Could my kids get UC? Absolutely. But I think we do ourselves a disservice if we get bogged down by all the "ifs" in life. It's like my husband always tells me, "If your aunt had (you know what) she would be your uncle." That kind of simplifies if for me. My thinking in life has always been that what happens is meant to be and when it's your time to go it's your time and there's not one thing you can do about it. I'm guessing the majority of us are glad that we are born, even with UC. One positive thing I will say about having children is that you don't have as much time to focus on your own problems because you are so busy. At least for me, when I'm in a flare the more I dwell on it the worse I get.

Kids can cause flares.  I have 3 kids ages 2 and under (a 2 year old and twin babies).  The exhaustion of newborns (one of the twins and the 2 year old both had colic) set me off with several flares within a few months.  Typically my UC is fairly under control and I will only have a brief flare 2 or 3 times per year.  However, the exhaustion of newborns set me off with several flares within a few months.  Sitting on the toilet while holding a baby, etc.  The reduction in sleep and the constant work involved with taking care of three small children was sometimes too much for my system to handle.  Many days I felt like I was just going to fall over and collapse on the floor, but I had no choice, I had to keep going.  It is getting a little better now that the twins are 8 months old, but it is still constant work.  There is no resting or laying down until my head hits the pillow at around 11pm.  All this being said, I wouldn't change a thing, we always wanted children, the dues are worth it.