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Controlling stress and UC

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Posted 4/6/2008 8:48 PM (GMT 0)
I am on prednisone right now and tapering by 1 mg every two days. Its making me nuts!!!! I feel that everything appears worse than it really is, worry excessively, constant stress/knots in my stomach (which doesn't help my UC), and crying jags!!

My boyfriend is wonderful, patient, and a kind man. We've been discussing out future plans of getting married, etc. Only thing is he does not have a set career yet. It worries me to no end. He is my true love and I want to marry him. I have the kind of personality where I worry a lot but I feel its getting so extensive that its affecting my UC. I also have been giving myself bad headaches. :( I've tried to put my feelings on the shelf, at least until I am done with the prednisone because I feel the medication is making my anxiety even worse!!!! I know I only have a few weeks before I am off it completely, but I feel I am going nuts!!!!! Also, my boyfriend has been trying really hard to look for a better career, job, etc. Its not like he is sitting on his heinie and not doing anything about it. I am established with my teaching career and ready to make the next step.

Should I just cool it and blame it on the prednisone? :-D Any suggestions????

heather

Posted 4/6/2008 9:10 PM (GMT 0)
Pred will truly do a number on your mood and attitude. That said, please don't make long-term committments if you have doubts. I've been married forty years, and it doesn't get easier after the wedding.

More stress-control tips here:
https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=38&m=1089950
Posted 4/6/2008 9:27 PM (GMT 0)
I am not having any doubts about our relationship or love for one another. Other than the whole job/career situation, he is a wonderful man. I can visualize spending my life with this man. He treats me like a queen and I love him dearly. I was married for a short time to a horrible man who verbally abused me and made me feel like a horrible person. My bf is wonderful and I cannot live my life without him. I feel I am experiencing extreme anxiety due to the prednisone. It makes me feel and act crazy. Does that make sense?

Thanks Judy about your advice. I am in no rush to get married and want to get to know my bf even more before making the final step. :) Have a good day.

heather
Posted 4/6/2008 9:36 PM (GMT 0)
Judilyn is right. It doesn't end at the wedding. But on the other hand, it doesn't end at the wedding! I have changed careers more times than I can remember. Life isn't the end, it's the journey. I know that sounds corny, but it's true. If you have a good relationship and if you support each other and if you are ready for the commitment, then go for it! BUT you can't assume that he can read your mind. If you are worried about his lack of initiative in finding a job, then you have to discuss it. If things really bug you, then you need to tell him. If it is a deal breaker, you have to tell him that too. Wishful thinking isn't going to fix anything. Relationships are all about negotiations. If this issue can't be negotiated, then move on. If it bugs you now, it's probably still going to bug you in 20 years.

As for your UC, it is what it is. I am wound pretty tight and my imagination would ALWAYS get the best of me. I have a prescription for ativan (for anxiety) but I don't take it as often as I should. I get far too involved in things that I shouldn't. I worry about everything. But finally I am letting go and I am SO MUCH happier! My husband has a mantra for me "Don't borrow trouble". After 10 years, it finally sunk in! Whenever I start to worry too much, I repeat that mantra in my head and it does make things better.

So take things off that mental table one at a time. First, your UC. If you are getting better and tapering off the pred, then take that worry off the table. Next your sweetie. Talk to him, figure it out, then take that issue off the table. It sounds like this isn't just the pred; it's also figuring out where you want to go with your relationship.
Posted 4/6/2008 10:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your advice. You are so on the money!!!! I love your mantra!!! I think I need to say it to myself during times of stress and worry. I hate making myself sick with worry when there is nothing I can do about the situation. I love my bf dearly and feel very lucky to have found a wonderful man. I refuse to let a job situation to be the deal breaker of our relationship. He knows how I feel about it, we've discussed it numerous times, and he is trying to do something about it. The balls are truly in his court and all I can do right now is be a supportive girlfriend and talkt o him about it.

You are right about the UC. I need to worry about it first or at least get myself into remission. I was put onto prednisone for arthritis. It was around the time of my flare up. I don't feel 100 percent better. Everything will happen in time, right? :-D Thanks!

Heather
Posted 4/6/2008 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
You betcha!

Sounds like you and the BF are fine. If it's not a deal breaker, let it go : ) I think I am going to make bumper stickers that say "Don't borrow trouble" (or just DBT) and put them all over my house and my cubicle at work. That's not to say you shouldn't have a contingency plan in case you lose your job (for example, have some savings in the bank or something or move back in with mom & pop). But you can only do what you can do : )

My sister died last year (she was only 48) of a massive hemmoraghic stroke. That really put things into perspective for me. I can most definitely handle uc.
Posted 4/6/2008 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah, that's so true! I am so sorry for your loss. :( I keep hearing everyday about people dying at such a young age of illnesses. Its really tragic. It makes me want to go out and smell the roses!!!!! :) I think I need to add more humor and creativity into my life....

You should make those bumper sticks!!!! "Don't Borrow Trouble" I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to make a little sign for my desk tomorrow. :-D I hope none of my students will see it. I can just imagine the questions my 6th graders would ask me! :-D JHave a good night.

Heather
Posted 4/6/2008 10:59 PM (GMT 0)
Well, it's probably good advise for any age! Except I'm not sure what the policy is for giving advise to 6th graders. That's what 11, 12? Such a curious age. One foot in kid-hood, the other one in sorta-becoming-an-adult hood. I guess you really can't say too much regarding personal philosophies in schools these days.

I guess you could make a sign that just says DBT...then say it's the initials of your dog : ) It would be sorta like when Elvis had that tcb and lightning bolt thing....egads, did I just give away my age????
Posted 4/6/2008 11:00 PM (GMT 0)
he he he.....thanks so much...nah i am going to put don't borrow trouble in a safe place where the kiddies cannot see. :-D take care....

heather
Posted 4/6/2008 11:09 PM (GMT 0)
My bumper sticker would just say "let it go." I used to obsess over the silliest things. The one positive side effect from having UC is that I've had to learn not to worry about the small stuff or the things I can't do anything about.
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