Rant!!

Okay so my sister in law is a nursing assistant and she works in a hospital. We were talking about some of the things she's seen while she's been there and I asked her if she's seen anyone with a stoma and a bag. I only asked because I'm interested in it, not just because of my UC. She was like oh yeah I've seen a ton and I was like wow that's cool considering that could be my future someday. After I said that she flipped out and gave me this whole lecture on how negative it is to think like that and how she would much rather have diarrhea everyday than go around without a colon. In my defense I told her that she has NO idea what it is like to have this disease and how hard it is to even function. Even saying that she still proceeded with her little lecture. UGH! It was so annoying! She's the kind of person who does stuff like this but still. I mean I get where she is coming from but seriously. I accepted this disease a long time ago and I came to terms with the fact that I have a chronic disease and saying adios to my colon could be a possibility. And I don't feel like thinking this way is "negative". I see it as being REALISTIC. Don't get me wrong I am loving being a remission but its inevitable that another flare comes around and I'm cool with that. Sometimes I just wish people could step in my shoes and live my life for a day and see how hard it is with UC!

Ahh that felt good. Catharsis!!

Ignoritis! I love it! I tend to clash with her anyways as our political views, religious views, EVERYTHING differ. I told the story to my mom and she said that same thing as me, its being realistic. I do ignore comments like that but this just bugged me.

Sam, Seems your SIL needs to retake the compassion class.

Too bad we couldn't wave the wand and wish diarrhea and don't forget the white-knuckle poos....maybe a few pant crappers just before sitting on the toilet. That could set her in the right direction.

Definitely you're already into the reality thinking phase...which is a good thing. We all have the potential for it to happen, even your SIL, for cancer or other probems can result in having one's colon removed.

In her defense of thinking, not of her actions, however....it could be a cumulative effect of what she sees, It could be that it wasn't totally directed at you but fear for herself.

quincy

We could deal with it if it was just diarrhea. Her level of understanding the disease is just way off. If we don't keep things under control the outcome could be colon cancer, which in turn could cause death. Next time just ask her how she would deal with that. It's a little drastic and not something I think about, but it is a possible outcome of untreated disease.

Ha, love the ignoritis comment. Maybe there's an ignorectomy she could have, followed by a wisdom implant. I couldn't sense the remotest hint of negativity in your post - I think you're being very wise in considering the future!

I have known many great nurses/nursing assistants, but the reality is that most who don't work as ET/WOC nurses don't know any more than the average person about taking care of an ostomy, or about what it's like to live with one. Hospital nurses and nursing assistants in particular tend to see them only on patients who are really debilitated in other ways, so they associate them with aging and death in ways that are really inaccurate.

What I'm getting at is that I hope you don't come away from the conversation feeling like her opinion has more weight because she's in a medical field. I had an ostomy for three months; it never leaked, I wore all my normal clothes, and even people who knew that it was there could never figure out where I was keeping the darned thing. Most people with ostomies are the same way. Now I have a j-pouch, so I am "going around without a colon," and I'll tell you--I'll take this, or the ostomy itself, over "having diarrhea every day" ANY TIME.

If definitely doesn't weigh my opinion on the surgery. I'm a biology major focusing on the medical field and to be honest its interesting to me! I have always been really practical and rational about things but sometime I just want to take a stack of literature about UC and throw it at her and be like READ THIS and then tell me what you think! Such ignorance!

     Your sister in law obviously has never suffered a debilitating illness.  I sort of understand her saying that you wouldn't want surgery.  That was told to me by a colorectal surgeon.  Surgery is a last resort because it isn't pleasant to have to go through.  He also explained to me that even though my flare had me running to the bathroom six to eight times a day, urgency and bleeding, I was considered as having mild to moderate UC.  WOW...hate to be in the shoes of people who suffer severe UC.  I don't think your sister in law would really want to have diarrhea every day of her life either.....she may state that, but I doubt she would even want to suffer a few days with it.

     Best thing for you to do is just ignore her.  Don't stress, it will make your symptoms worse.

No you're right I wouldn't want surgery and I'm definitely not asking for it. I tried every med under the sun to get me into remission. I was never severely flaring but it was disrupting my life and the meds weren't working.

Oh man. Someone wants UC to be THIN!? What the heck!

She is 8 years old than me to the day. If it were anyone else I would cut them some slack because I'm pretty open minded to others opinions and ideas but she's such a pain the ***. Its kinda the "my way or the highway" thing. I mean I love her and she's been a part of my family for a long time but geez lighten up ya know :)

Hey Sam. I just had step one surgery Nov. 19 and have a temporary ostomy. Life is SO much better so if you ever do decide to get surgery, you deff wont regret it! I feel amazing and its only been a little over 2 weeks

      Katrina