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freaked out in front of HR

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Posted 6/6/2009 8:51 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone   I started crying in front of our HR representative today. I just felt tied today, I think I may have over reacted. I went to the loo twice already this morning. That is not normal for me I only go once. I increased my pentasas and I haven’t really completely recover from this cold and this monthly thing. Now that I am home I am having no more urges. I cant believe I freaked out over going to the loo twice. I did think that I was going to be in the loo forever this morning. But now Im ok.     I guess I feel that the pentasas will stop working for me. I am scared of this. They have worked so well in the past and I have never needed a large amount of them. I feel my body is changing for the worst.   I told HR that I don’t understand my future. And that I could have a good remission but then again I may not, I just said I really don’t know about my health. Well I guess they know the truth and they need to. They really don’t know what IBD is so I had to explain it. Which made me cry even more.   I didn’t tell them this but I felt this last month that I could not keep up with my job. My diet is so expensive. If I go on disability I will not be able to afford good food. This worries me too.
Posted 6/6/2009 6:44 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry you are having a hard day. If the pentasa is working now, try not to worry about it not working in the future. Just try to take things one day at a time. It may have just been you having a cold that kind of messed up your normal routine a bit. I know this can all be scary.
Posted 6/6/2009 6:54 PM (GMT 0)
Kitty....the Pentasa hasn't had opportunity to work for you because you're not on enough meds....

Your reaction is understandable.....your situation is extremely confusing because the GI isn't stepping up to treat your UC effectively.

Please discuss this further with him and maybe you need to rethink your actual need for meds.

quincy
Posted 6/6/2009 6:54 PM (GMT 0)
kitty you will be fine... I have many days like this too... almost everyday, and now I have a pill addiction, sadly, cant blame it all on my depression, poor willpower, however I use them daily and havent been able to wean off..

we all have things to struggle with, Im 20years old, been dealing with this since I was 17ish, not to long but IVe learned a lot, and one thing Ive learned (wich I may Not follow) is that you cant depress yourself over this condition becuase it will make matters worse.. we just need to give our bodies time to heal. =] you said yourself, your doing better now then before, so you try to be happy and smile about your proggress... were here for support and anything you need.
by the way, there is nothing wrong with crying.. its great for the soul.

I have been listening to tracy chapman all morning, the same 2 songs over and over again. singing with my dog. it feels great.. just as long as nobody catches me. =] aha
Posted 6/6/2009 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your suppot everyone. I would have been really embarrassed if I actually cried in front of my staff. Even though I have a good team. I still would not have liked to do that.
Posted 6/7/2009 3:24 AM (GMT 0)
yeah, i went to a new GI on Monday, and he was old (not distinguished old but old old) and wearing jeans and a shirt. He asked me the same questions twice in a row, and at the end of it all, I had to pay 20 that I don't have.

I ended up sobbing on my way to the car...sometimes stuff like that just happens.

think of the things you're grateful for, that always helps me a bit.
Posted 6/7/2009 5:44 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry HelloKitty; I can relate too. This is a crummy illness and a hard one to explain to others.

AM; who is your GI in Sac?
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