Yep you are right. I'm not going to turn this thread into a husband bashing post as he's really a wonderful husband. Like everyone, he has flaws. He is a major procrastinator, over promiser, under estimator of how much time it takes to get things done around the house. When people ask him where how he's doing on a certain personal project, I've heard him use my illness / baby work as a reason for not having it done yet. Trust me, that's not the reason he isn't making progress, I get mad and it makes me do 100% of the baby work so he can't use it as an excuse. So yes, my original thread was about how to raise my daughter and having UC, but I also got some advice along the way that I need to rely on my husband more and not feel guilty for accepting his help. And those who really know him also know that he's full of crap when he's making excuses for not getting stuff done - so I shouldn't let it bother me!
songlady said...
JM, my guess is that - here you are, new mom and all, and you have expectation of yourself, an image of the way you always thought it should look like - and UC is getting in the way of that.
So instead of being the smiling Supermom, you need some help - and, right, my husband works long hours, too, so I hate to burden him with things I would rather be "my" jobs - but, you need to fast-forward from the image you had envisioned and look at what's really happening.
I have long thought that "in sickness and in health" is likely the most difficult phrase in the wedding vows.
And so when my kids were little I was where you are now....... but then, to put it into perspective, a few years ago my husband tore the cornea in one of his eyes, and an infection developed quickly; our local eye doc told me he was within an hour of losing his vision. With no warning - he woke up one morning and this had happened - I had to drive him halfway across the state to a cornea specialist EVERY DAY for a month for an eye check. Also, he needed to me to put drops in his eyes .... four kinds of drops, some every hour, some every 2 hours, some 4 times a day and others twice a day. (I made up a chart.) So - not that I ever, EVER wish something like this on you, but - yes, we with UC can also "be there" for our significant others when they need us!
Good luck. It's a lot to juggle. The way I see it is that I was put on a fast track to figure out a whole lot of things that most people have decades to learn!