Aww. You poor thing. I really feel your pain and I sympathize. I wish I could offer advice. I totally would love to have some work done on various things and I won't do it because the idea of upsetting my colitis is so awful to me and I am unstable - I feel anything could set it off.. I think the more you stress, the worse things get. I am sure you will improve if you just relax and give yourself time. Let's think positive!! On the other hand, surgery isn't the worst option. It could be very rewarding to get your life back and put all the colitis stuff in the past.
I hope you're feeling better today.