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Husband really made me mad rant

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Posted 10/6/2010 9:13 AM (GMT 0)
To cut a long story short husband hurt his neck falling over toilet rolls which had been left on stairs waiting to be taken upstairs,well he has been still going to work but will not take pain killer as needed then moans that it hurts. Made appointment to get it sorted today but when i said that i wish i could just come home and do nothing he said i must be use to being ill,well i was not very happy and told him so in more than a few words but i expect it fell on deaf ears at least he did not try and wiggle out of it and knew he is now in the dog house but it just made me so mad i do not complain and just get on half the time i dont even say when i have been to dr's i work keep house and look after the kids most of the time just felt very used and not cared for,he seems to see everyone else's pain but mine would go on strike but would only have double to do in the long run glad have you guys to rant to well today can now only get better am already soaked from going to chemist in pouring rain,thank for being here when needed this forum is a godsend.
Posted 10/6/2010 11:42 AM (GMT 0)
Pain can make people cranky and unreasonable. Possibly your husband is on a short wick due to the pain. Is he normally that thick headed?

Btw, Lambkins - can you please put periods in your paragraphs after each sentence? I had a hard time reading your post and I had to reread it several times before I understood.
Posted 10/6/2010 1:14 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry,was just really ranting and not thinking of paragraphs.
Hubby says things sometimes before he thinks but normally is kind and gentle just a bit dumb at times,caught me at wrong time of day in the morning just before school run,am now calmer.
Posted 10/6/2010 6:13 PM (GMT 0)
My husband has major back issues(he gets disablity from S.S. and the army). he has had the back issues since i met him. He has had four back surgerys he has a pocket of scare tissue filled with fluid from a leak he got from a back surgery and he has two discs in his middle back messed up and his neck needs surgery. Will be scheduled shortly. I understand he sufferes from pain pain but he sometimes says I rather have what you have than what I have. I say well at least you aren't on medication that could kill you. I understand we both have a diesese and they both have their cons but when I'm tired(i suffer from severe fatigue) he don't get it but he has been out of commision for a week because he is in severe pain. I feel sorry for him but I also feel I don't get the same sympathy. I don't complain much to him either and I just don't compalin in general about myself or this dieses. My mom  hears most of it.

My husband is a nice guy but I think when you have two people in one house who both have health issues makes it very hard. It is also scary.

Posted 10/6/2010 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
My hubby is also on permanent disability just like WIMOMOFTHREE. I get it that he is in constant pain and weather fronts really affect him (and in Texas, we have a ton of them). about 95% of the time I can handle things and help him and out and commiserate with him. However, when I have a bad day (whether UC or something else), I would just love it to be all about me for a change! I know it is selfish but I can't help it. I have to b*tch to my friends or my mom since my hubby always says "at least you are not in pain 24/7 ... *sigh* Gosh, I love the man anyways ....
Posted 10/6/2010 7:20 PM (GMT 0)
     I tell my hubby he should get on his knees and thank the Lord every day for his good health.  He is 72, I am 64 and he can run circles around me.  It's hereditary as his mom lived to be 89, grandmother 96 and aunt 98, all pretty healthy all along.  He's very active which is wonderful.  I was very surprised at how supportive he was when I became sick because he never had patience with illness years ago.  He does a LOT for me.  He's been retired for over ten years.  I call him the neighborhood "go to guy".  He helps our elderly neighbors fix things in their homes.

     Lambkins...your hubby is probably in a lot of pain, just try to be tolerant for awhile.  Besides suffering with UC for twelve years (not suffering with it now as I had surgery on June 28th but long recovery), I also fell five years ago and suffered a compressed fracture of the lumbar spine.  OMG...talk about pain!  Prednisone gave me osteoporsis.

Posted 10/6/2010 8:10 PM (GMT 0)
I find it interesting that a husband would say such a thing...seems some pent-up resentment. In stress or under the influence of meds or alcohol, do we release our inner inhibitions.

Your husband felt sorry for himself, and took it out on YOU.

I hope he apologised for the zing.

q
Posted 10/6/2010 11:40 PM (GMT 0)
Texas gal- omg I just lol my hubby says the same thing. At least your not in constant pain 24/7. This is true but at least you don't poop in your pants in public. He laughs at this one. lol shocked
Posted 10/7/2010 12:39 AM (GMT 0)
Lambkins, I hope the hard feelings will pass quickly. If you could both step back and look at the situation more objectively (hard to do when physical pain is present), you would likely laugh at the aspect of tripping over a toilet paper supply. Be well, you two. / Old Hat (30 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)
Posted 10/7/2010 12:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all just to let you know that all has returned to normal sa normal as can be in our house,and i do think that we will laugh about it later.
Posted 10/7/2010 4:04 PM (GMT 0)
We all do react to pain/illness differently.  My husband has so many health problems you could not imagine.  Right now he is cleaning kitchen for me as my knees are really hurting today.  Some days it is him who needs more attention and some days it is me.  We are 70 and 74.  We both try not to "complain" too much.  I know we can tell when the other one is hurting especially bad!  I have bad knees along with UC.  Hubby has COPD - lung cancer - congestive heart failure and chronic back pain from work acccident.  That is not all but major problems.  He has had triple bypass/aneursym and other surgeries.  He is the BEST patient - much better than I am.

BUT - saying all this sometimes I resent the fact that we can't do the things we used to - like fishing and traveling more.  I know I take it out on him on a bad day. 

FYI - we both take medication for anxiety and he takes pills for depression - don't believe we would do very well without them!

ElaineNY

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