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Tips to deal with Big Events (meetings, panels, speeches)

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 12/14/2010 2:12 AM (GMT 0)
Hi all,

Long timer here (4+ years now!!!). The violent UC that I started with is mostly under control, but I still have UC-- physically and psychologically.

I have a very high stress job that requires constant 'uncomfortable' situations for someone with UC. Things like meetings, talks, conference speeches, etc. The problem, as so many of you know, is that even if you're not actively flaring, it's ALWAYS in the back of your mind that things can go terribly, terribly wrong.

This "what if" thinking is crippling, but it's a reality I deal with. Unfortunately increasingly so this is affecting my life-- when I have a big opportunity come up, the first thought isn't excitement, it's "oh no, now I'll have to spend the next X weeks being super careful I don't trigger a flare" and then PURE RELIEF when it's all over.

I don't like living this way, and I plan on doing something about it... but here's where I'd love your help. How do YOU do something about it in these situations?

1) For specific big days, what is your battle strategy? Let's say it's your wedding day, or a huge day at the office for you, and running the restroom is NOT an option. Have you found a relatively tried and true method to make 99% sure your UC isn't going to get in the way? For example, do you just go ahead and give yourself an enema the night before to 'clean out'? Nothing is too weird-- I think part of my biggest worry here is that I've yet to find a solution that can make me feel CONFIDENT that for at least a few hours, nothing bad will happen with almost certainty.

2) Psychologically, how have you successfully stopped the 'what if' business that makes the disease worse, if anything, but is so so so so hard to get rid of? Hypnotherapy? Therapy? Pleasant thoughts? A book that helped? Etc.

Thanks!
Posted 12/14/2010 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
I hesitate to comment because I have no idea how well your UC is under control. That would be my first priority. You can't expect someone to mentally cope with a physically inflamed colon. But as far as the psychological aspect once your UC is in remission,

I had a breakthrough moment, after years of suffering with anxiety, which in hindsight I believe had a biological origin in my gut. I realized that the inflammation in my colon and/or body was CAUSING my anxiety. I let myself off the hook for having the anxiety. I started viewing those first twinges of anxiety as the simple biological signal they are - not evidence of any change in the forecast for reality. It's simply some immune cells deciding to whip my intestine into a red inflammed angry mess and sending my body into some form of shock

I was reading a lot of Wayne Dyer's "The Power of Intention," which I recommend, and also any book by the swiss existentialist psychologist "Medard Boss" or philosopher Martin Heidegger.

The inflammation in our bodies/guts is simply a biological motivation - it is one of the many factors we get signals from. You can also interpret most anxiety as excitement once you strip away the catastrophizing mental content that we tend to build up around the initial twinges of fight or flight anxiety. You can and should be "excited" about a speech or a project. That level of activity or adrenalin can prompt you to do your best. Don't take that flush of excitement as a negative harbinger of bowel doom - take it as your chance to shine, as likely your are one of the few people in the room who really know how tough life can be, and who really know that good people sometimes fart, or smell bad, or spend a long time in the restroom, but that they are still good people, living happy lives through what would ruin some lesser souls.

The other thing I have found is antithetical to anxiety is LOVE or CARE. I have found this to even work situationally. If you have to give a speech, find something about the project that you care about, how you are helping people etc. Anxiety is a narrowing and a turning inward where love is expansive and outward.

Other books I highly recommend, Paul Tillich's The Courage to Be (kind of philosophical), and for dealing with bad mental habits, a classic is Feeling Good: The new mood therapy by Burns.


Medard Boss might ask you a "Why not" question - why not actualize other ways of being that may be more fulfilling. We choose what we are "attuned" to, whether it is the terror of running to the restroom on our wedding day, or how beautiful your wife looks...


PS
Medard Boss has an excellent bit of writing on anxiety, let me know if you want me to email it to you.


Hope this helps!

Post Edited (doors12) : 12/13/2010 7:30:48 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/14/2010 3:09 AM (GMT 0)
My battle plan when something MUST be done with no excuses

1. Immodium several hours before
2. No caffeine anything (including chocolate) the day before and the day of
3. Rowasa enema the night before calms things down
4. Bentyl-take this anti-spasodic hours before adrenaline starts to make stomach active
5. Use hypnosis or yoga training to relax breathing
6. Don't eat -just drink water

Yes I have had hypnotherapy but it did not help UC at it's worst. That's like fixing a broken arm by thought control. Hypnotherapy can lessen stress but cannot reduce inflammation which causes many/most of the worst symptoms. I'm still glad I had hypno because I've used it in other parts of my life successfully.

You have a difficult situation to handle UC and a high stress job. Best of luck.
Posted 12/14/2010 9:41 AM (GMT 0)
I was just thinking about this yesterday (I spend a lot of time deep in thought), and I was wondering what the h*** am I supposed to do if I have a toothache and I'm flaring and I obviously have to see the dentist very soon. My wife says, "very simple, you don't go." Wrong answer. Dental pain trumps everything. The idea that you can't go to the dentist is terminally scary. Finally it dawned on me - you fast. For as long as it takes. Fasting, Immodium Tylenol 3 (or Percocet, whatever), all together. Works pretty well. Actually when I fasted on the day before a colonoscopy, it was the beginning of an improvement for me, last summer. Fasting can be so beneficial, can give you such a feeling of freedom and control, that I'm beginning to get a glimmer of understanding of anorexia.
Posted 12/14/2010 10:49 AM (GMT 0)
AKB, I also have a high stress professional job and I don't eat while I'm at work. I'm taking 2 hours to get ready in the morning to make sure everything is out of my system.
Posted 12/14/2010 2:45 PM (GMT 0)
If I have a big event to attend, I eat light for a few days and try not to eat the day of. Or if I do, I eat gut friendly foods. I take Bentyl to help with any peristalsis.

As for the anxiety of such an occasion, I don't think about it. I busy myself to keep my mind off things. I try not to do the what if's because to me that just increases the anxiety. I sort of just go with the flow.
Posted 12/14/2010 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
Maybe it's because I'm in such a solid remission, but I don't think about that kind of stuff AT ALL. I travel quite a bit for work, have spoken at meetings, gone on work-related field tours where bathroom access was spotty at best, and didn't think about it at all. And I think I quit being worried about that kind of stuff after being in remission for 3-4 months.

And I honestly think that MOST people who have well-controlled UC don't think about this stuff. Remember that most people on here do not have well-controlled UC.

So I have to ask, are you still having symptoms? If you are, maybe you need to make an adjustment in your meds to see if you can.

As for dealing with it mentally, I was on Zoloft when I was diagnosed due to post partum anxeity (which was largely brought on by the undiagnosed UC...it's HELL having a newborn and being so sick and not knowing why), so that might have helped me deal with my diagnosis and accept it. But, I was just plain happy to finally know what was wrong (I was sick for 2.5 months before being diagnosed) and start treatment. And it's not like I got into remission right away either...it took some time. And, I had a newborn to take care of and focus on, so it didn't really leave all that might time for "woe is me" type thinking. I just accepted it and moved on.
Posted 12/15/2010 2:25 PM (GMT 0)
As the rookie UC guy, 13 days diagnosed, I have to look back on the 6 months I was undiagnosed and compare the two. My thought is it is all mental. When I didn't know I had UC it never occured to me that it could limit my activity. I am in the military and over the last summer I had a lot on my plate: 2wk physically demanding school, a week in E. Europe working with another army, 3wks in the woods, trained for a 10km trail race but like I said my UC was never something in my mind.

Now that I have a name to the problem I had, it is stuck in my head and is starting to be all I think of. Not only from the fact it could force me to change careers, but the vast amount of information on the condition is overwhelming at times.

My point: Confidence in yourself is the key. I have started to lose mine and I used to have a lot.
Posted 12/15/2010 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
Here's what I do,

-don't have coffee before the presentation- but promise myself coffee afterwards
-allocate time just before the presentation/meeting to go to the bathroom, even if I just let a bit out it helps me last longer
-if particularly bad that day, take some immodium - but not often

Usually I have to go before and after a presentation - but never during the actual presentation. Something about the stress of the moment prevents this, however usually at the earliest opportunity to use the toilet after the I meeting I have to go.

Haven't tried fasting like a few of the others here, honestly if I'm hungry I can't think straight lol, and usually make sure I have a full stomach. I also eat a banana before presentations (part physical part psychological effects probably)
Posted 12/15/2010 8:24 PM (GMT 0)
oh and I agree on the whole confidence thing, trying to stay positive is key
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