So what, I have UC

So why is it necessary for my mother to explain that to most people who cross our paths? I have not felt embarrassed in many years over her, not since I was a little child. But tonight I wanted to run out of the store after she was telling a butcher about my 'condition'. Mind you he was attractive, near or my age, and looked at me like I was diseased. Which I am, but I don't have the plague.

I acknowledge that she doesn't understand issues due to a few things, but I've told her for a year, "Don't define like that. I am not colitis, I simply have it." But she still announces it to most people. Really is this normal in the human nature? Is it normal for me to have the urge to smack her? Has this happened to you at all?

I was thinking the same thing when I was writing this, lol. I thought it sounded familiar.

We've had a talk about it. I'm usually alright with it, unless I'm in a horrible mood. Which, unfortunately, I was at the time.

You're kidding, nssg. Surprised your family doesn't know about something that's such a big deal in our lives.

Sorry your mom is a bit of a blabber mouth and put you through that. You're perfectly justified in feeling the way you do. You just want to try and have some semblance of a normal life and your mom is only making that harder even if she means well. You just have to talk to her about how you feel even if that means possibly upsetting/offending her. She's got to understand that it's hard enough living with the disease, but you're trying to be positive and not let this define who you are (and you're right - It's NOT who you are). She needs to respect your wishes for privacy.

My mom did something similar at my wedding (MY WEDDING! For crying out loud). I was pretty upset and she did not understand why. I had to basically tell her: "If I want people to know about my condition, I will tell them myself." And believe me I was quite angry when we had this talk; I'm not generally so vocal about my anger (especially with my mom) but what she had done was really uncalled for. She hasn't blabbed about it unnecessarily since then.

Anyway I hope you can work this out with your mom. If she continues to talk about your condition in inappropriate situations, you may need to take measures to cut her from your life if possible.

My grandmother always did this to my mother, to the point that she put off going to the doctor with abdominal pain because Grandma was visiting and she didn't want it spread all over the world that she was sick. Five years later she died from colon cancer.

You may not be able to do much about her telling what she already knows. When a woman's children get a serious illness, she tends to feel it's happening to her too. So the stress and trauma to our moms is almost as high as our sometimes. For sure you can be less communicative with her in the future about your condition. And sometimes you have to resort to "Mom, that's my story to tell people, not yours. It embarrasses me and discounts me when you go around telling people, and if you continue doing it, I won't want to spend time with you any more. Please consider my feelings. If your feelings are too strong, I'd prefer you discuss MY news with a professional counselor rather than everyone you meet. I love you and I want our relationship always to be good."

We've done threads on this annoying breach of privacy in the past. Generally it's a mother who tells everybody, or a significant other who tells a relative who then bugs the UCer about symptoms, etc. at every opportunity. Sibby, hang in there! Eventually your mother will get involved in some other topic that she wants to share around. In the meantime, you could threaten not to go marketing with her if she mentions your personal matters to the butcher or whichever shopkeeper she tends to frequent when you spend time together. / Old Hat (30 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)