11 things not to say to people with Crohn's or colitis CBS News

beatUC,

Thanks for posting - that's pretty good.

I've heard too many of those too often, haha.

 

very very true and funny in a weird way.

HA. Thanks for posting. Needed the laugh.

I chuckled at those. And these too


14. Will I catch this from you? (Said while slowly inching away)
15. It's just blood. You're a woman, you can't die from it.
16. Stop complaining, you don't have cancer. (But sometimes you feel like you do)
17. You can't go that much. Why don't you just wait on the toilet and let it all come out, instead of getting up.

I think one of the worst experiences I've had was when I was during a major flare about 2 weeks ago and my sister and I went to go for a walk on the riverwalk downtown, ate a donut, felt really sick in my stomach, well the only bathroom available was in this shed-looking place where it looked like some guys were party-planning or something. I walked in and asked if I could use they're bathroom and they looked at me with a not so nice look and told me to go into town. I was embarrassed and really needed to go wanting to say "man you dont understand how serious this is at this moment."

You should be thankful, it could be so much worse.

What's the bristol stool chart?

Nurse said this to me.

Ha!

My GI is on maternity leave, so I met with the guy who's taking her patients while she's out. He opened with a recommendation of pred, so I knew it wasn't going to go well because that's a complete nonstarter for me.

At the end of our conversation, he laid #1 on me.

He wanted a follow-up in four weeks, but I told him I'll wait out the maternity leave unless he can recommend someone else.

OK, I'll admit it. Some of these responses won't make friends and might be considered terse.

1. You don't look sick

And you don't look like an a**hole. Yet here we are.

2. I know what you're going through

Not so much what I'm going through as it is what goes through me--which is everything.

3. You've lost weight! You look great!

Thanks. You still suck.

4. Come on, try a bite!

OK. Which ear do you favor?

5. You're so lucky - you can eat anything and stay skinny

Yep, me and Karen Carpenter.

6. You must have a lot of stress in your life.

Yes, indeed I do [as you enunciate each word and stare intently at the person].

7. Can you wait until the next exit?

It's no problem. I'll just go on the floor.

8. You've really put on weight.

You're fat too. What's your excuse?

9. Is it OK for you to eat that?

Why, you didn't cook it, did you?

10. Why are you so tired?

Stupid people make me weary.

11. You need to change your diet

Not again. OK, which diet program are YOU trying to sell me?

12. You should just change what you eat

Oh, I do. The food comes in one end, goes out the other, and trust me it has changed.

13. If you just changed your diet, I bet you could get off of all those pills.

I don't watch enough QVC to have the answer.

14. Will I catch this from you? (Said while slowly inching away)

Yes, and the most common means of contagion is airborne. Every time you open your mouth, you're putting yourself at risk.

15. It's just blood. You're a woman, you can't die from it.

That's true. Bring your jugular a bit closer.

16. Stop complaining, you don't have cancer. (But sometimes you feel like you do)

No, but I have you, and some days I wish I had cancer instead.

17. You can't go that much. Why don't you just wait on the toilet and let it all come out, instead of getting up.

I'll just follow your lead and orally expel.

That's hilarious, Noah!

Sounds like UC brings out the cannibal/vampire/zombie in us. :D

Love the comebacks Noah! Very well done!!!!!!!