Feeling like crap and depressed

Hello everyone.
It's rare I post about my feelings but I am really about to loose patience wit my uc.

It;s been months im on the enemas and now recently on asacol pills and I still have a bit of mucous and soft stools. But no more than 2-3 bm a day.
However it's the same for ages. If I don't do my enemas for more than 2 days I have a sore bum and my hemmies are haunting me back again.

The hemmies dont want to go. Tried all creams and suppositories. They are small, annoying and itchy.

Ive been on the probiotics and spyllium capsules. I am wheat free and i have very little dairy. Am still gassy.

Most of all I have no energy at the moment, Im a housewife stucked in the house most of time (no kids) and in a new country therefore my social life isnt really much a happening.

I used to cycle a lot to see friends and to go to work now in London forget the cycling for your own life!

I feel I really do my best for my UC and am determined to get a remission however what do i do wrong? Why am i so tired, why is it taking forever?
Im very low on energy and its affecting my self confidence. Im newly wed and I should be full of passion.

I have a new GI and though he wrote 2 papers for an urgent scope on the 09th of febuary 2 receptionnist missed up and never booked anything and spreaded the papers and now i have no scope appointment done yet. They gave me instead another regular appointment with my GI on the 12th of april! So I have to redo the system all over again?

Im depressed because I am just plain tired. And it seems I cannot see the how i can make myself feel better. I try and try my best but nothing is moving, my uc isnt worst but isnt better. When will I have a break?

Are we living a parallel life? This is me, exactly me, down to the housewife with no kids and the newlywed status. I know exactly how you're feeling. I wish I had some kind of advice to make you feel better. All I can say is, don't beat yourself up too much. It's too easy to blame yourself for all kinds of little things that may or may not have contributed towards your symptoms.

*hugs* sorry you are feeling so bad...

i am in the same boat as far as a lingering flare that will just not go away, and yes its really frustrating !! 

however, you sound a bit lonely, not working, not seeing friends, not excercising, etc.  can you try and get out each day and take a walk or something, get some fresh air? or maybe get an excercise bike for your house? i think excercise is a great mood booster and i think it helps the uc.

 

Sorry you are feeling down; UC can be very hard to manage and we all go thru bad times with it. There may be another oral mesalamine that would help you more-- if Asacol doesn't do enough. about the doctor's office problems: did you post a thread seeking other UCers in London? It seems to me that this forum has other members there or nearby; maybe you could link up with somebody that way who would meet you in person or phone or give local tips on dealing with the medical system. Probably you would find Canadians, too. When the weather improves you'll be able to get out more and see some interesting parts of the city. / Old Hat (31 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)

Thanks everyone for your support. It really did make things appear less dramatic.
I agree for the chat. We could be like teenagers doing conference chats!

The hard part of all that was to move to another country as well. Im married now, live in the uk and not working.
I always lived on my own in Canada and worked hard for the past 14 years and earned my own money.

As you know things in london a VERY expensive and space is limited so the exercising bike is a brillant idea but cant manage to put it anywhere!

Im lonely its true. I moved here 4 months ago and didnt make any friends really as I don't work. We live in a chavy area of london as well wich doesnt motivate me to meet new local friends or volunteer! Its temporary as we are going to move soon in a nicer area.

I think I miss my family and my social life as well. There is so much a husband can do! I miss going out on a girls night, drinking, dancing... Never my husband would dance. Hes english after all and the hips arent really moving to be honest! ahah

At least I saw my gp today and she gave me streroids ointment for my hemmies stating the creams i had before was well under dosage to be efficient. So hopefully it will work. When I dont have them my bms are much more solid as well.

And yes it stinks that a tummy or bm makes or breaks your day. And when you start to dream about perfect formed stools or when you walk in the street and see a dogs leftover and you are jealous... well thats not fair! I can only imagine those with kids... you kids must make the most perfect, stylish, releasing stool ever and im sure inside you are jealous. I would be ahahah

We I don't know whats the chat procedures here. I know there is one chat but no one is ever in there. Im careful about giving my email as it seems a few members here were too pushy with them.

what are the options then?

thanks

Regarding the "chat":

Do you have Facebook pages?
A lot of my friends keep in touch that way.
You can limit the personal info that people can access and if anyone gets annoying, you can just delete them as friends.

I can relate for those who feel isolated as I have lived in places at times where I knew no one. As to the fatigue, make sure you're getting enough iron. I have found that low iron and anemia were a problem for me when I was younger and I still have to watch it now.
Hope you feel better

tournevice,
I remember when I moved to London I cried for days on end. The flat my then boyfriend had found was dingy and dirty without a proper shower, it rained for days, it was disgusting outside, I hated the area we were in (Balham, very boring), I didn't know anyone etc. What you are feeling is very normal. I still have some friends in London who I can introduce you to depending on what your interests are etc. Or give you some ideas of where to go (parks, markets, galleries etc) which aren't too expensive when you're alone all day. It helps to be out in the city. Remember, you are in the best city on earth (my opinion) even though the bad parts of it are REALLY bad, the good parts more than make up for it. But, it grows on you slowly like mould. It will take a long time, so just set little trips for yourself and get to know the city slowly. And try to get your mind off of the UC.
PM me if you ever want to. I'm a Canadian who lived in London for almost 8 years.

Oh, tournevice, I'm so sorry to hear that you're down in the dumps :-( Does it help or hurt to know that you lift my spirits all the time? You have such a gentle humor and such a way with words! I wish I could do the same for you.

If you're accustomed to a lot of exercise and you're suddenly in a place where it's restricted, I think your body is going to react in a way that will affect your emotions. I live in a small city (San Francisco) and while plenty of people ride bikes here (including a once-a-month bike barrage in the downtown area designed to disrupt traffic, called Critical Mass), I myself wouldn't want to try it on these narrow, busy streets. But I walk. A lot. It's good for me. Gets me out into the sunlight (such as it is), gets my blood moving, makes me really breathe fully rather than shallowly, sometimes causes URGENCY but you know how that goes, and it gets me to look up. And I think that we literally need to look up in order to see our surroundings and emotional situation as looking up. Look up into the trees and see the birds that make their home in the city. Look up at the clouds and see if a rainbow appears. Look up at tall buildings and make yourself dizzy.

Jonathan Franzen was talking about his recent article on Edith Wharton in the New Yorker and he said that he had read The Age of Innocence in his twenties, and then not again until he was writing the article, and he said it really brought home to him how different it is to read the same book at different times in life, and the thing he stressed was that in the most recent reading, it really struck him how much he had learned to grieve and how much he had learned about renunciation and sorrow and disappointment between the two readings. Life is a roller coaster and the more ups and downs we experience, the better prepared we are the next time they come.

I'm sending you lots of positive energy.

xxoo

sure pm me, i have a lot of friends into photography, music etc. and i can try to get you in touch with them. also, i have a long list of stuff to do but i'll have to sit and think. with all of the stress it's hard to remember i ever had a life that wasn't a disaster.

You can join the FB j-pouch page. It's a good group of people; some are well; others are not. Quite a few on that site are from the UK too. You don't have to have a jpouch to join; having UC qualifies you!

Sue

tournevice i can sooo relate to how you are feeling...i remember that feeling all too well when i first got married as i, too, moved to new place; a very boring one!!! i rememebr how i missed my family and oh how i also missed my friends and my social life...i just felt so isolated. I didn't have uc at the time so i can only imagine how much more crappy you would be feeling with this additional burden,
I wish i was in london (i live in victoria, Australia) i would have exchanged details so we can meet.
My advice to you is try to find work: it'll take your mind off things...i find that im more positive since i got back to work (only part time though as i have a 1 yr old to look after)...
Im thinking of making an email address to use in this forum..you are more than welcome to pm me once i get that done and add it to the profile.

Lots of positive thoughts your way :)

To everyone id like to say a big thanks. All your warm messages really helped see a little light at the end.
I will contact those who suggested and maybe after "the housewives of orange county" we can start a new club "The housewives of the brown district of Healing Well"