help...ish

Okay so i'm gonna sound self pitying and I'm not.. im confident, intelligent and positive, just need a smidge of support

I posted recently about how in control I felt, and I did, I do. And I basically need a kick up the ass.

I had my first flare since THE diagnoses earlier this year. I had a boyfriend and we were great, thogh I was a bit stressed. And I had a reason to get fit and well, I took my enemas, I stayed off work. I cried, we hugged, bla bla. I guess something spooked him. And it was the beginning of the end - i guess we ddnt have much fun for a month and he said he felt he withdrew into himself at the same time.

Now I'm poorly again (well i say again, it started 2 months ago so hardly got better), and alone. Dealing with the break up AND being ill is annoying. I told my nurse I didnt want to take my enemas as it meant I was poorly, and she said she understood. I feel like refusing them is the one thing I can control, (yeh im a control freak)

can somebody just say the things like, "take your meds and you'l get better"

I'm 25 and live a few hours from my family, my friends are great but I can't drink alcohol when I'm poorly (looks like the Somme when I do that, think it's something to do with alcohol thnning the blood more than usual) so don't want to be a bore. Plus with being upset (break up out the blue 2 weeks ago) don't want to annoy them or seem undignified by crying or seeming like im not coping

currenly sat at my desk with a jumper rolled into a ball and my chair rammed against the desk as my stomach hurts so much. also, anybody else feel sick when their stomach hurts. i go to the loo and gag im in that much pain sometimes.

had a call from my doctor that my bloods are all off and not having somebody hug me and tell me it was gonna be okay was hell. hospital arent too worried-but it spooked me

(i think also i dont wanna worry my friends or family or work collegues so im taking it out on you guys, lol)

[im 25, not on pred - stopped taking it as it didnt help one bit other than be EVIL, on pentasa 4 tables twice a day, 150mg Azathioprine and should take pentasa enemas as i know they help had a year in a remission in happy relationship bliss then it all fell apart together]

Sorry your feeling so bad. I normally do the enemas once a week but I've been having some symptoms crop up and before I go into a full blown flare I've had to do them nightly. Does seem to be helping. I hate doing them. I think we all do but they help. Get back on them. I will tell you what I have told my 19 year old. Sometimes your family is all you have and no matter what you have done or what you are going through, your family will support you. I would give anything right now to hug my son and tell him it will all be ok but I can't. Let your family support you if in no other way except to say they love you. Breakups stink. But if he couldn't hack things when your feeling poorly then he doesn't deserve you when your doing great. Hugs to you...now take your meds! :)

So you're asking us to tell you to take your meds?

TAKE YOUR MEDS! ESPECIALLY THE ENEMAS! The oral meds you're taking aren't so great at reaching the distal portion of the colon and rectum, and that's what you really need to heal. I've been in remission for almost 3 years now, and I am very faithful about taking my meds (see signature for details), and I know that's a big reason why. I know that some people flare despite taking meds as they should, but one of the biggest reasons UCers flare is due to non-compliance with taking meds.

Good luck, and hang in there!

Tell yourself "Use the enema so that sometime in the near future I won't need to use the enema".

If you are a control freak then you are most likely goal-oriented also. It's not easy to achieve goals with UC like "Get better" but goals you can achieve are being very med compliant as in use your enemas nightly. I completely understand not wanting to (been there done that) it's denial-denial-denial in action. The sooner you get over that stage the better, take it from me, you'll shave years off getting better.

Should you involve your parents? I've always found it better to talk with people who understand exactly what UC is because they have it (as in this forum). Non-UC'ers really cannot comprehend the brutal physical reality of it, not even doctors in my opinion. Now the boyfriend thing is something to cry on their shoulder about, that they will understand, it's a common problem.

Ask at your local hospital whether there is an IBD support group. You could use some in-person support. I thank heavens for my spouse when I was at my lowest in the past and boohooing feeling sorry for myself (very out of character).

Things will get better for you. Just be a friend to yourself and use the enemas OK?