I had to share this joke someone sent me.
I was laughing so hard, haha.....
You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One! You don't even have to like 'em!
We were dressed, and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we
opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid lady was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her backside with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her body downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'
The cab driver hit a parked car.
BTW, I love cats, have had many throughout the years, including right now.