I'm too vain for an ostomy/stoma

Aside from the whole "keep the colon" thing, I don't think vanity is my issue so much as there is a certain of maintence and care for the stoma. I am not at good daily self-care type of things.

If vanity was the only issue, a j-pouch could largely address it.

Hi there. I just had my surgery on Sept 4th and it not bad. You only need to change bags every 3-4 days. I pick Sundays and Wednesdays. It only takes about 5 min to do it once you get a system together.

After having UC for 2 years and going in/out of the ER and getting an inflamed pancreas from the drugs The surgery was a well earned relief.

Nobody knows you have a bag unless you tell them. You can still be active too. I read an article on an Army Captain who runs 13K everyday! UC already changed my life. The surgery brought back my quality of life. You can also opt for the j-pouch too. Then you don't have to fuss with the bags.

I know when I first joined HW, I thought the exact same thing. That was 8 years ago and my whole mindset has changed. I don't know if I was to ever have surgery that I would opt for a permanent ileostomy, but the J-pouch looks favorable :)

I feel kind of the same way but thankfully, I've been around here a lot and I've seen so many people go through it, it eases my mind a little to know it's a solution if you're having relentless UC symptoms. I am with DB though as well, the up keep and buying supplies is something I don't imagine I'd do too well with. I already buy so much junk, more necessities is an awful thought. I actually want to get lasik so I don't have to buy contact lens supplies.

I don't think anyone would flame you for saying that....those are your feelings.

I had my ileo for 3 months and I can honestly say I hated it but it was a necessary part of my surgery journey. I am so thankful for this surgery so I actually owe my ileo a debt of gratitude! It's gone now and all thats left is a scar to remind me of what I went thru. So even though I hated it, I'm thankful I had it so I could get better. If my j pouch goes caput tomorow at least I know I could live with an ostomy and Im sure I would adjust just fine with it over time. ANYTHING is better than living in the UC hell I was in!

you will never meet a person more vain than me! I promise, lol. BUT here's the thing, with this bag (that no one sees) I can work out and have a nice body, I don't have prednisone moon face, or bags under my eyes from not sleeping. My skin isn't all pale and icky looking, I can actually get a tan now, lol.
I totally understand where you are coming from, I was the same way, I was thinking, OMG I will be so ugly and nasty. And is it pretty? Not really. Does anyone see it? No, so it doesn't really matter.
Like others said, there is always the jpouch, and you will need a ileo for a little while, you will probably find it's not like you think it will be.
DBwithUC, there really isn't any "daily care" other than emptying, which takes about 2 minutes. I change my bag once a week, which now that I have my system down can take as little as 5 minutes.
I worried about how I would look. I knew two people that had bags, and they were both very very very overweight. And this is how vain I am, I asked the surgeon if I would have to get fat to have a bag! He laughed and said no that was silly.
Remember Farrah Fawcett? I know I spelled her name wrong. She died from colon cancer that could have been cured with a bag, but was too vain to get it. Now, UC and cancer are different, UC isn't usually a life or death situation. But this is one of those times you have to weigh it out, very carefully. I can't say that honestly had I not had a child that I wanted to be able to spend time with that I would have been able to have the surgery because I would have been worried about how I would look, and had I not had a husband already. I would have worried I would never find a man! I still get hit on now though, doesn't seem to have made a difference!
If you aren't ready, you aren't ready and that's fine, whatever your reason! You can always look at people who have them and see it doesn't show, and that they are still attractive! And if you still aren't cool with it, then that's still alright!

quincy said...
I'm in fruitgirl's camp as well...Once or a few times of a bit on my way to the toilet while flaring...at home...I can sort of deal with. Otherwise, nope. If things progress/worsen regardless of my med regimen with the addition of a steroid enema, colon would be out.
q

Yeah but then you can't wear a two piece thong at the beach. Everyone will be like and the kids will start crying....

Somedude said...

quincy said...
I'm in fruitgirl's camp as well...Once or a few times of a bit on my way to the toilet while flaring...at home...I can sort of deal with. Otherwise, nope. If things progress/worsen regardless of my med regimen with the addition of a steroid enema, colon would be out.
q

Yeah but then you can't wear a two piece thong at the beach. Everyone will be like and the kids will start crying....

 

Hmmm, maybe it would look better over a diaper?

q

Yeah, I can certainly get the vanity thing. I live in Hawaii and take my kids to the beach regularly.
I'd also much rather deal with hiding the bag than cleaning poop off myself and my clothing at whatever public toilet I can find (kids in tow). Or staying home all the time for fear of that happening.

Thankfully I'm not at that point but if/when I get there I'll find a way to deal and get on with life.

It doesn't always lead to an Ostomy...you can get a jpouch instead. And I think I've heard the stats as being 20 - 30% of UCers end up "needing" to get their colon's removed.

I think you see of high precedence of surgery questions on this board because people don't go to the internet when they are doing fine..but rather when they are looking for information or ways to deal with their UC.