Parents keep asking me why I don't have a girlfriend

"At least you're totally in tune with who you are and you're up front about it. And as long as you aren't whiny about her saying the same thing when it comes to doing something for you. As in, "I'll get around to being intimate with you when I feel like it, and if it's 3 days laters, it's 3 days later.""

whahahaha, it was an example, depending on my mood, I'd prolly get off to do the dishes.

I'm difficult in some situations, I have to admit it. In return I also don't bother people.

I was acting supervisor a while ago, I did my job but I wasn't a "time keeper" for the employees. I wasn't monitorring their breaks or their lunches or when they came in or left. I leave them alone, I wanna be left alone kinda deal. I wanna be a nice guy.

The most difficult part of a relation ship for me would be being told what to do or controlled. Some men,they submit, with me, crap don't fly.

Hmm Levi, Skyrim and Guildwars? You know of thoses, I like you already.

wait a sec...you're a guy?

I don't even bother anymore and it's not because of colitis.  It's because there's no more good guys out there.  Oh, with the exception of Somedude

And whoever is with me, has to understand that my dog will come first, no matter what.  I am also a big advocate against animal abuse and if I see an animal getting abused or left tied out somewhere, I will get involved.  Some guys don't like that. 

" I don't even bother anymore and it's not because of colitis.  It's because there's no more good guys out there.  Oh, with the exception of Somedude

"

 

My parents (and everyone else in the world) ask if/when I'll get a boyfriend. But I'm sure they'd be asking regardless of UC.

I would hope people are more understanding in their 30's. I find that people my age don't get the significance of living with chronic illnesses.

Hmmm....Methinks I need to start a UC dating site

Thank you all for taking the time to respond and sharing your thoughts. I read thru all the responses and I feel like I should save this thread so that in case I do start dating, it will boost my spirits and encourage me to not let my UC stop me.

if you want to date, go for it- take it slow and try to have some fun. You'll know the right time to open up, and honesty will help weed out those who wouldn't be right for you anyway.
I was diagnosed fairly early on in a new relationship- i was very sick with intense flares and debilitating arthritis. He was caring and loving, cooked my bland foods and even carried me around when I couldn't walk. He's the love of my life, and we're getting married this fall!
There will be some disappointment, but that's true of anyone dating, UC or not. But you have to open yourself up to let the good stuff happen too!

Wait - Power...you are 33 with a stable job and a college degree? Yup, you are good material! The 26 - 35 female age group is after you!

I do completely understand your problems though. I a girl, now with a bag. My descent from health to UC to bag was pretty quick. My last relationship ended before my UC started. Between the lack of energy, lack of time, and just trying to survive I haven't been in a relationship in awhile. Plus, a confidence hit because I've changed so much physically...my steroid weight gain is bothering me more than the bag!

Parents are going to be asking you these questions no matter what. As someone else pointed out, they don't end (grandkids? new house? other grandkids?).

And Somedude - your video game geek threshold is really low if you think throwing out Skyrim and Guild Wars is impressive ;). I'm a girl, don't play video games, and can tell you that stuff. Of course my last boyfriend was a bit game obsessed...

So glad I am not in the dating pool. In fact, if I ever get divorced I will never date. I would prefer to be alone and not have to be someone's Mother anymore and I don't mean to my kids. Tired of being the only one who can cook, clean, do laundry etc etc. My hubby says he will help out and then does for a day or two and then its back to me doing everything. The only thing I don't do is cut the grass because my son most of the time does it. Granted hubby works full time and I work part time but cmon now you can't even washed the pan that you cooked food for just you in? He says he doesn't get recognized for the things he does do...and that would be what? You don't do things for recognition. You do things because you should. Sheesh. Can you tell I am aggravated? LOL

ya, i'll take a relationship with a toilet any day !

chcl said...
Why are you not on any medication?

Back when I was in college in 2002 when I was first diagnosed with UC, my doctor put me on 12 Asacol pills a day and that did nothing but upset my stomach to the point where I was having 20 bowel movements a day. This ultimately put me in the hospital for ten days. My doctor insisted that I continue taking the Asacol and just upped my prednisone to make me feel better. I ended up taking the Asacol and Prednisone every day for a year and I was sick the whole time (and going into debt too as $400/month for medication plus a lot more cost for the regular doctor visits and hospital stay almost made me have to quit college).
He also tried giving me Remicade during this time, which made me incontinent for a week or so.
I eventually had enough, switched doctors, was taken off the Asacol and I was 100% better two days later.
At that point, I vowed never to take anymore UC drugs.
In 2006, I tried Asacol again and the results were the same. I also tried Lialda, Dipentum and Colazol. Each one made me more sick than if I wasn't taking any drugs at all.
Today, I have a new doctor who seems really good but I still don't want any of his drugs. A few months ago, he tried talking me into taking 6MP, but I said no.