OT - Help Me Weigh My Two Living Options...

Hey everyone, I hope you all have been doing okay. My health has been pretty steady with my gut thanks to Remicade, although I'm still facing body aches that I take Tramadol for. These aches have not yet been identified as to a cause, but possibly relate to the mono I had and my body's lack of ability to fully rid me of it while on Remicade (Rheumatologist's thoughts).

I've had a stressful spring this year. The business I run with my dad has been full of uncertainty, and it's eaten away at our well being a lot. My dad (59 years old) is in the middle of an anxiety ridden breakdown. He's lost 20 pounds he didn't have to lose, has lost all of his confidence/manly drive, and is just a mess of emotions and physical pains from various ailments. His biggest issue is sleep apnea. He is getting help from good professionals though, thankfully.

I've been stressed pretty consistently this spring too, and it's at times effected my relationship, and my overall sense of feeling healthy and happy.

I'm trying to weigh two options. In one scenario I sell the home I live in, move to the nice apartment complex my gf lives in, and invest the money I get for my house (which is paid for) in another multi-family home to rent out. In the other scenario I stay in my home in a lake community, and feel less in control of my life and much more vulnerable to the uncertainties of work.

I already have one apartment building paid for, which brings me in half of my basic expenses living in the home. BUT, if I acquire one more and move to an apartment I will literally be able to save money before even needing to have earned income. This scenario is nice because:
-No more home upkeep, lawn maintenence etc...
-Living space is smaller so less to keep up.
-Can focus more on my dream/passion of working with real estate.
-I can approach my dad and I's business with a calm mind, and help him reach a point where he can retire.
-There is also much less stress/reaction to work issues when I know I don't even need to be there to take care of my basic needs.
-Should things go really badly with my work (which I doubt, but who knows), I can relax and take time to choose the best fit for me regarding a career.
-If I get ill, I have less responsibilities I personally have to take care of... AND I know I am taken care of financially.

***The rental properties are and would be managed, by the way. I would not deal with tenants.

Staying in my home is good because:
-I live in an awesome lake community with great neighbors that I really like.
-Right now I'm out on my back porch and I can see stars, hear frogs and crickets, and look down near the lake and see the lake homes reflecting their light off the lake.
-I wouldn't have to leave my dog with my parents permanently (which wouldn't be terrible since I'm there 5-6 days per week).

I have an internal drive that is telling me that my life will become more authentic and fulfilling if I take the chance to sell the home. I'll gain more stability in my life, be able to help my dad out more, and be able to make sound decisions regarding work and finances. I'm just trying to double check my thoughts before I act.

My girlfriend and I plan on getting engaged in the fall, and we've thought about where we would want to live. She loves where I live, but the drive to work would be too far at this point in time. So... her and I might choose to live in an apartment together within a year anyways.

I am also in the process of buying another lot out here in the lake community at a great deal, so I would have the option of coming back if things go well.

Any thoughts are appreciated. Thank you.

any chance of renting out your house instead of selling right away? move for a year and see what happens?

you might hate/love living in apt.
you might miss your lake life
your g/f might decide she want to move despite commute or job situations may change...

to me... it sounds like your head (logic) has decided to move, but your heart is not ready yet... which one will win out??? only time will tell - but you are a thinking so you will weight it all out and make a decision! :)

Thanks everyone.

Somedude... I know not to base any decision solely on my gf right now. This is something I would consider either way. I just really happen to like the apartments where she lives.

I can rent my home out most likely, but would only be able to get a return of around 4-5% with me managing it, whereas another multi-family building would return 8-9% and be managed.

I'll continue to think, but I appreciate sincerely your replies. We'll see what happens!

Thanks, NSSG.

I've sent emails to my realtor friend and property manager tonight. I'm asking for their advice. Personally, I am seeing how excited and energy filled I am with this idea... and it is completely enjoyable. They say that when you are on the right path things click, and that's what getting more into real estate feels like for me.

We'll see what things look like as time goes on.

And nssg, in regards to my dad... yeah it's rough. He will pull through everything I think. I sent him to my good GP doctor rather than our small town PA that he usually sees. My doctor is part of a big new hospital filled with people wanting to help.

My dad told me again today how having a child (me) that is sick and suffers the way I have has been hard on him because he wants to do anything he can to help me have a happy life. This is another reason why getting my bills cheaper and investments bigger will help. I will be able to assure him that no matter what I will be taken care of.

Thanks again.

Hey NSSG. :)

I am well overall. The last month was anything but stress-free. My dad was a depressed ball on a couch for 2 1/2 weeks from father's day weekend on. He got help in addressing his sleep apnea and depression, and has been working more and more, and has been able to work by himself for the last week... which has been a huge stress relief for me.

The time he was healing was hard on me. I still wake up every day with these mystery pains (that every doctor is telling me to just wait them out, though it's been about a year!), so I would have to take pain pills and put on a strong face around my dad even when I was hurting.

At the moment, my girlfriend and I are leaning towards her trying to live in my house first before selling it. It has been a bit taxing on us thinking about it, so I set the whole idea aside for a while. But she kept thinking, and said that she wants to try living out here first before I sell the place.

I had a colonscopy a couple weeks ago that showed a completely healed colon, and the biopsies came back clear as well! There's some scar tissue type stuff in my left colon where it's always been the worst, but my doctor was ecstatic about these results. :)

My gut is doing very well presently. I just went to a concert with friends tonight, and didn't have to use a bathroom at all for the whole time we were there (through five bands!). I was remembering how much agony UC causes when I've tried to go out before, and was super appreciate of feeling normal for once.

At present my life overall is good. My only issue I'm trying to address is the stress of my business. We are just small peanuts to the people we sell our product to, and they are fairly cutthroat with us. Our margins are getting tight, and I am trying to figure out how to handle it. That's been my deal I'm working on now, but everything else is great for the most part. Having my girlfriend in my life has been amazing... I am so glad I never gave up looking for a special someone.

How are you doing? I haven't been on much since I've been so busy, so forgive me if I've missed anything major!

I'm glad you're doing well! Having a job with a good atmosphere has to be a great relief to you, and help to keep your mental/physical stresses down some.

I saw rheumatologist in early June, and then had a follow-up with him last week. He basically has said that he is hesitant to put a label on my pains. He is thinking that the pains could be related to the mono that I had, with remnants of the EBV virus still causing issues. He has also said the pains sound like Fibromyalgia somewhat, but he really seems to not want to call it that right now.

The prognosis/treatment plan is that I just have to wait things out, and try to be as healthy as I can be in the interim. There is a strong emphasis on eating healthy, exercising and trying to minimize stress.

I am looking into more holistic ideas for healing, as I always do. I am presently preparing to begin supplementing with a certain set of vitamins aimed at improving the methylation cycle in my body. There are not many formal studies on this, but medical doctors have performed their own small scale studies for patients with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia and came away with great results. I am trying to address any deficiencies in my body at a root level, in hopes of coming away with a stronger and more robust ability to take care of myself automatically.

I'm sorry if you or anyone else has tried to ask about me and I haven't responded lately. I had set up all my posts so that the site did not contact me via email when I got responses, so everything was up to me happening to stop in at the right time and see a post. I just happened to briefly look on here about an hour after you asked how I was doing a couple days ago. I've set this post up to notify me of responses now, and think I'll continue to do that with new ones... as I seem to be hit and miss on here due to my busyness.

Thanks for asking about me. I hope you continue to do well. :)