Looking for help with my wife

My wife was diagnoses in 09 with severe ulcerative colitis since then she has been on many drugs about 2 years ago she started remicade and pretizone her remicade dosage now is the highest possible since the start of the drugs I've noticed behavior changes at one minute everything is perfect I mean dead perfect then the next she is vary aggressive and verbal abbusive I've tryed talking to her many times about this but she is in denial and will agree one minute to go see a therapist with me then the next she won't picture her episodes as the worst hollering and belittling sessions as you can imagine at least in my eyes they are and she also does it to the kids
My wife I love to death we have had some amazing times and since the drugs where introduced it has been hit and missed recently she left the house I of course tryed to get her to go to therapy she said I'm the problem not her so I filed for divorce but I did it thinking maybe she would go to therapy and at least try it I love my wife but I desperately need any help possible because these drugs are costing me 11 years of marriage and 13 years of my life any help would be appreciated from facts to encouragement I know the last 3 times I was in the infusion clinic nurses all made comments to me about side effects saying I feel sorry for you and one nurse even gave me a hug and no issues where ever brought up to these people just statements by them any support or suggestions would be appreciated

My wife is in denial and has left the home

I spoke to her dr and due to hippa laws they can't give me any information they did say all the stuff I have been experiencing last couple years due sound like side effects

I get very abusive being on prednisone as well. It may be necessary to still take it when Remicade hasn't kicked in yet.

I'm a little more in defense here because I know how she feels. When I'm on steroids I can hardly control my aggression. But I rather take the steroids for a couple of weeks to give my colon time to heal than having a bleeding colon where the inflammation spreads.

I'm sorry you had to file divorce on her. I don't believe that is the right way.

Sorry to hear that, Theinz2. I hope you can get her to come around enough to address this head on. Can you get other family members together to stage some sort of intervention or something like that? Maybe she needs to hear it from others for it to sink in.

Prednisone is often called the Devil's drug. It is like making a deal with the devil, it can get you into remission but at the cost of serious side effects.
However in my experience while prednisone can make a person a bit bipolar-like and very depressed/anxious; it usually exacerbates already existing feelings. Like i remember when i was on pred if i got happy it would make me VERY happy, similarly if something upset me oh boy i would feel like i was thrown in a deep dark hole.

My point is: were there existing issues in your relationship already when she first got sick? What were the circumstances surrounding her first flareup? Perhapes she blames you for something? What do you often fight about?

I can't even talk to her it is annoying the crap out of me. Fecal transplant I know she brought it up before. But nothing every happened. Her last dose of pretizone was in April it was the highest dose possible. Her family just ignores me cause I ain't perfect but I would never do anything to hurt her. I love her I have had her convinced 3 times to go to therapy but she never follows thru and I denial. The remicade she is on the highest dose of that too. It has gotten so bad at the house she doesn't just spank the kids once it is like a 4-5 minute session and I intervien to calm her down the yelling has gotten so bad it's almost daily and the name calling is redicous me and my kids get called names regularly I thought filing for divorce would get her to go but it just made things worse she flips like a switch I was a mental health specialist in the army and I never seen anything like it and it is the good times that I love her for

Whoa dude, predisone has some side effects but there's no way she goes on a rampage like that with just pred. I had high doses administered by I.V. I did get more aggressive however no name calling or hitting people.

Predinsone can only enhance a pre-existing character. I don't believe you turn a mild mannered person into someone borerline crazy.

My opinion, I could be wrong though. The reality is you're dealing with this, so I dunno what is the best course of action.

Yes, with this additional information, and the fact that she has been off prednisone for quite a long time, this is not a condition of her UC medications. She has some sort of mental breakdown. For the safety of you and your children, you should remove yourselves from her unless she agrees to seek mental health therapy.

I'm so sorry for you.

Sue

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this most difficult time. I do agree with suebear. Your wife is suffering from a mental breakdown and sounds it's very sporadic. You have to protect your children and if that means separating them from her, well it has to be done until she gets help for her unpredictable anger episodes. Try to bring her family into the equation once more and explain how she needs their support during this difficult time and that you cannot do it alone anymore.

Picture this you get done with jet boat in Chicago just the best day of your life and your kids and all restraunts are closed at 11 by the pier but your determined to find a cake to sing happy birthday too your son then you get done singing happy birthday and then she threw a soda at me I threw it back at her of course it was a empty tin can at that point and she denied throwing it and said I did it not her then she gets mad because the kids where telling her that she started it so me and the kids left the room came back after she was sleeping at like 3 next day percey again

" and then she threw a soda at me "

why she threw a soda at you?. You were singing happy b-day to the kid and..... ?

 Prednisone can trigger bipolar and all the nasties that go along with it. ...so if she had any tendencies to depression in the past, please look into possibly of having her assessed before she gets to the point it can escalate.

I don't know what else to suggest except your kids will certainly be influenced by her behaviour in a very negative way.

she should also NEVER BE ON PRED again!!!

Thoughts with you both.
q

clarify please...exactly what did she say?