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Posted 11/22/2013 2:34 PM (GMT 0)

Thoreau said...

Again, you have my support with things. Keep on getting through things, and ask for support when you need it. I really hope things go smoothly for you.

Thank you.

Here is my advice. My daughter observed her mother obsess over worries and tends to lock on to the scariest outcome which only increases the chance of it happening.

What I tell her is THIS : "Worry is a waste of your imagination".

But neglecting a problem is irresponsible so I showed her how I spent my time not worrying ( we become what we think about is the Indian phrase ) and instead I sat in bed reading 'The 5-minute' interview because spending my time doing something positive like that is paying off during phone interviews where things can get awkward and you don't want that silence and I also learn how to take control of the interview and the book worked before after my stroke, I nailed the next interview and paycheck was restored. Instead of following my instincts I followed the guys gameplan.

We all have to cope with garbage coming our way, the difference is in how we do the coping. i.e. its not the hand your dealt, its how you play it.
Posted 11/22/2013 3:33 PM (GMT 0)
I have obviously had some emotional times lately. However, something that has helped is that I have kept my financial needs relatively low. I am self employed, and what I am going through is basically a transition in the industry in ways that require innovation and creative thinking. After a lot of stress, I am finding myself feeling like I felt when we initially created this business. I am feeling thankful for the likelihood of having at least a decent base salary, and that it can be exciting again to see how we create new opportunities for ourselves.

I listed to Dale Carnegie's book about how to stop worrying recently. There was lots of basic advice such as accepting the worst outcome, and then improving things from there... and to live each day by itself, without worry about the next. In theory it sounds logical, but in practice it's definitely challenging.

Good job on bettering yourself rather than wasting your time worrying!
Posted 11/22/2013 3:44 PM (GMT 0)

Thoreau said...
I listed to Dale Carnegie's book about how to stop worrying recently. There was lots of basic advice such as accepting the worst outcome, and then improving things from there...

Not being funny at all, but this is a problem when you tend to be a pessimist, as I do. I see very bad outcomes when my imagination runs away with me, both thinking about finances and Crohn's disease.

I have noticed a great change after a year of remission my expectations with Crohn's have greatly improved, which has been very liberating.
Posted 11/22/2013 3:49 PM (GMT 0)

Thoreau said...

I listed to Dale Carnegie's book about how to stop worrying recently. There was lots of basic advice such as accepting the worst outcome, and then improving things from there... and to live each day by itself, without worry about the next. In theory it sounds logical, but in practice it's definitely challenging.

Good job on bettering yourself rather than wasting your time worrying!

 

Time can easily be wasted worrying, but what some people don't understand is that many worry but also search for answers....WHICH YOU'RE DOING, by the way.  So, it's not an all or nothing thing, so try to stop believing that you're doing it all wrong.  We all worry....that's how we should be trying to figure out what's going.  If we worry and stop functioning....that's OK for a short time, but it can hinder our daily functioning.                                

 

Hang tough, your personality seems to need the lists of comparison in order to feel at ease about what you're doing.  Keep in mind that you're not going to resolve it in the moment or set in place the perfect plan....never shall it waver.   You're vulnerable at this point with you having terminally ill friend.  That will weigh heavily on your thinking process. 

q

Posted 11/22/2013 4:01 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, Levi and Quincy.

I actually am looking for solutions most definitely. I am very analytical with situations like this, so yeah I do really like having lists and comparisons to know my options well. A lot of people would think it is way too much thinking... but I also have myself in a better position than most already due to this way of directing my life.

I started this post because financial insecurity is my biggest mental issue, even with things being as good as they are. I fully admit that I need improvement with this, and am working to find a mix of outer solutions and inner acceptance.

There certainly are a lot of things going on for me, and you're right that my friend being in hospice is difficult. He is getting ready to die I think, as he is telling his wife to stay home and take care of herself, and telling me to take care of my girl (fiance). I still am going to go sit with him this weekend which I know he will like. He told me it was a big relief to see me walk through the door the last time I was there to visit. I told him to rest, and sleep if he wanted... and that I would just sit there so he was with someone. I think if I were in that position I would want to feel love and support even as I was letting go of the world.
Posted 11/22/2013 4:05 PM (GMT 0)

Levi said...

Thoreau said...
I listed to Dale Carnegie's book about how to stop worrying recently. There was lots of basic advice such as accepting the worst outcome, and then improving things from there...

Not being funny at all, but this is a problem when you tend to be a pessimist, as I do. I see very bad outcomes when my imagination runs away with me, both thinking about finances and Crohn's disease.

I have noticed a great change after a year of remission my expectations with Crohn's have greatly improved, which has been very liberating.

Being self employed I also imagine some very bad outcomes with things. People don't realize though that when you are working for yourself you really must prepare for anything. I had a business meeting in February this year where my main buyer made plans with me to consume most of our product through the year, and then two months later they called and said they didn't need to buy any more from us, and if they even did it would have to be at a lower price (that we would suffer at). That was a huge setback, which I've been very thankful to have recovered from so far.

Remission with chronic illness does definitely bring a new outlook with things. I'm glad you're doing well!
Posted 11/22/2013 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
aguywithuc, you mentioned " instead I sat in bed reading 'The 5-minute' interview".

I would be interested in getting this for my husband who will soon be going for interviews for the first time in nearly 15 years. I googled it - is it by Richard Beatty? Have I found the right one?
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