oh.. of course... its a hemorrhoid....

So! It took me a few days and my husband finally telling me... but apparently I have a hemorrhoid. Which I've never had before... so I had no idea. Lol.
I feel dumb.

Anyways, my symptoms are lessening. Frequency has diminished (only 5 very small d-poops today!) some and urgency only with the first one of the day. Little bit of an accident :/

Also: it almost appears... that i am not passing much blood. Which is a Christmas miracle! Unfortunately my shaking is still bad.
the feeling that I have to go is there... and my body pushes and I shake and take lots of deep breaths to try to stop it from thinking it should keep pushing/straining.

Which makes sense where this hemorrhoid came from. But if my body keeps reacting like this... that painful bugger is never going to go away!

I know on a previous post we discussed anti-spasmatic drugs.
What do you guys think?

Also any tips or tricks for dealing with a hemorrhoid would be amazing.
This thing is huge and painful. I swear I can feel my pulse in it!