Posting from the Surgeon's Office

Re strictures: lots of Crohn's folks live with strictures and scarring, because there are times when surgery isn't suitable or else they don't want surgery.

I just don't understand why people are so pro-surgery. To me, a permanent ileostomy isn't an acceptable alternative; if I'd known more about what it was going to be like, I would not have had surgery. I don't care how ill I was with Crohn's. I'd rather be ill with Crohn's than have this awful, uncomfortable bag stuck to me every day for the rest of my life.

Every other person in the world could absolutely love their j-pouch/ileostomy, I do not care. To me this isn't a "cure", it's not even a good treatment, let alone a cure. This is just... I don't know how to describe it. All I know is I should never, ever, ever, ever, ever have had this surgery. I don't even care if the Crohn's had killed me instead: this is not bravado. This is how much I hate having an ileostomy.

Edit: Sorry, I'm just ultra-depressed today by how everything has turned out :-/

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 1/24/2014 5:18:33 PM (GMT-7)

The thing of it is, NCOT (& this is not the right thread for this...)- you DO have an ileostomy. Douesn't it make more sense to just get over it & get on with it? It's very easy to say "Oh, I'd rather be dead than have an ileo!". However, here you are, very much alive. You regret your choice, unfortunately- but can't you make the best of it? In any way? So far, I've only come across 2 ppl. who sound like this- you & woofwoof. If an ileo isn't an acceptable alternative, what is? Death? I just don't get it- maybe I will, someday. But I don't think so- honestly, the hatred of the ileo seems to speak as much to a persons mindset prior to surgery than afterwards. I've been living with it too, & would prefer to keep on this way. But that just doesn't seem feasible in the long-term. (PS- I understand the depression- since my scope I've been all over the place, mood wise- sucks!)

well, all I know is it would really suck for US if you were dead tea girl - this place would be so boring without you, it wouldn't be worth visiting -

so for me, I absolutely love your ileo whatwever

Saying I would have preferred death to having an ileo was putting it a tad strongly :-/

I don't know. I'm not suicidal, but I think years of pain and illness, and a few scares, have reduced my fear of dying. There have been a few times where I genuinely thought I might die. And I sometimes think that would have been better: not solely because I have an ileostomy of course. As much as I hate the thing, no, that alone is not reason to die.

Crohn's sucked, but up until 2011 I would have said it was better than living with an ostomy. After that, though, no: my disease took yet another turn for the worse and after that I literally couldn't function unless I was on steroids.

*takes so long writing this, refreshes page before posting*

Ah soystud, bless your soy heart... I could take you, shake you up, and pour you over some dim sum right now. And that's not creepy at all, no... >.>

@Sibby - Hypothetically, my answer would be 'yes'. I feel like I didn't try all there was to try.