Posted 1/27/2014 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
I've had ulcerative colitis all my life. I was afraid to talk to people, most of my younger years was me being on large doses of prednisone usually 40 mg or more. We'll that made going to the pool interesting. I stopped going there I always wore a shirt when swimming etc. I was afraid of what people would think; heck I still am. I was lethargic . Ended up getting urethema nodosum. ( I think that was how it was spelled) So my legs would cramp all the time. I had to crawl down steps just to get to my parents bedroom. I taught myself to hate doctors because they were never honest. Even after my colon got snipped they still tried to fill my heart with air. Oh yeah I leaked from then on pooping my pants.Im so embarrassed. I was afraid to go on camping trips, sleepovers and the occasional movie.I couldn't dictate my own life. I was depressed nothing got better the resection prevented me from getting colon cancer but not from possible crohns. I spent so much time reading, I enveloped myself into the story lines hoping to be someone else for a few hours while in the hospital. I'm afraid what still awaits 2 more years of high school. Nothing embarrassing has happened yet but it did open up some other opportunities. I worked at a summer camp and feel free to google gunman at goochland cub camp. That was an interesting experience. I do Native American dance and play the flute for my OA lodge. I found my hobby to be woodworking. I am 15 almost 16 and I'm afraid of something of that I can't control. I'm sick of waking up having to take a shower because I still can't control myself at night after 5 years.
Sorry to sound so selfish I just wanted to let out my frustration.