Posted 3/13/2014 8:59 PM (GMT 0)
(I posted this in the Ostomy forum too...so if you read it there, this is the same long, disjointed rambling!)
It's hard to believe....one year ago today, I had my surgery. Proctocolectomy with end ileostomy. It's been a day of very mixed emotions....really the past few months have been that way. When I was sick I barely had the energy to kinda sorta function, let alone really sit and think hard about all that was happening to me. But now...being healthy, and looking back, each day gives me a chance to think..."one year ago today"....and none of those days were good. My battle with Ulcerative Colitis wasn't very long...but boy those last few months were beyond rough. The worst of my life BY FAR. Every time I think about it, I am astounded by how very sick I was and how blessed I am to have come through it as well as I did. I don't think I could have done it, had it not been for my amazing, selfless Mom who stayed with me and took care of everything for months....and my wonderful, supportive, loving boyfriend, who stayed right by my side through the worst of it all....doing all he could to care for me and help me find some happiness when I couldn't do it on my own.
The decision to have surgery was really a no brainer for me...as was the choice to go with an end ileosotmy. I just knew that was the path I had to take in order to be happy and healthy. Not once in the past year have I questioned either of those choices. I feel better than I had in a long time! I do what I want, eat what I want, go where I want...in no way does my ileosotomy limit me or make me think twice about anything.
Thank you to everyone here who has helped, and continues to help me, navigate these aspects of my life that very few people can truly understand. The knowledge and support I've gotten here has been invaluable. Hopefully I can give that back to others who come here looking for help.
It would be easy to be angry, to feel like I've gotten a raw deal, that I've had more than my fair share of illness to deal with and over come....but, I don't feel that way. I know that so many folks have bigger problems than I do. I know that I have a perspective on, and appreciation for, the little things in life that too many people overlook and take for granted. I know that I am blessed beyond measure to have had the doctors, surgeons, nurses who had enough skill to help me through this. Blessed to have a caring family and an amazing boyfriend who was my strength when I had none. Every day is a gift....and that is something I try to never forget now.