Anxiety, Please help!

After years of flares, c-diff, deadly blood clots, surgeries and many other lovely things associated with this disease, I find that I spend most of my time worrying about the next flare and an early death.I can't seem to calm myself enough to carry on anymore and not sure what to do. Itake anti-anxiety drugs . which don't seem to help much and have huge addiction issues.
On top of the medical part, I have a large family that continues to imply that I am making this whole thing up, they never visit me when I'm hospitalized and say this is all my fault for being negative and fearful and don't believe UC is a "real" disease. consequently, I have very little contact with them, but they continue to creep into my life and never fail to make me feel bad. I've lost all my property, home etc and sometimes struggle for reasons to continue on.
Any advice or experiences with getting past this?

Have you talked to a counselor at all? I know you're going to hate this suggestion and others will probably attack me, but, maybe you should consider the possibility that your family and friends might be about 10% right and maybe part of the solution is to acknowledge some of their feelings as maybe either being partially correct or for you to just accept the fact that they are too unkowledgeable on the subject to really understand what you are going through. Sort of like the Israeli's and Palestinians, maybe you need to find a way to find common ground and ignore the rest. I know it is easier said than done. Sometimes family and friends can be thick inconsiderate dickheads.

You might need a different anti-anxiety drug or a higher dose. These drugs aren't addictive so that should not be a concern. Start with seeing the doctor that prescribed the medication. Talk therapy should be incorporated with drug therapy until you can get to the root of the anxiety. I suffer from anxiety too and understand the vicious cycles.

Sue

I don't know the extent of the disease in your colon but through out the years that I've seen you suffer maybe just maybe it's time to have surgery. I mean, you talk about offing yourself. I mean, when you get to that stage, your UC must be really bad. I never saw if you tried biologics and such either so this could be an option also.

I know you're so against surgery but if your UC related issues are so out of control then I don't man...you know.

Sorry to hear that.

Zoloft and Klonopin will make you feel better.

Inderal, a rather small dose will help you calm down. 3 of us at work used to use Inderal to keep our stress levels down.Think twice before going Zoloft route.

Honestly, I see the point in what Gary said. The stress is a trigger factor (when I am in stress, I go in flare) so the stress caused by family member must be aggravating enough that you may end up thinking too much over it. That in turn can increase your stress levels even further resulting in the flare(s).

My PhD boss was an a-hole and last 3 years of my PhD I survived on the drugs, but as I left, I got it under control. It took about 2 years AFTER I left but I had to change the circumstances myself so that I don't stress out to worsen the situation. Thus, all you can do is, show them a middle finger and move on.

I didn't see this thread until now, so disregard my question in my thread...

When you say you've lost your property and home, does that mean you are homeless? Are you staying with friends and family? Either way, that crap would seriously depress anybody all by itself. But on top of that you have PTSD due to years of traumatic illness and a ****witted family who are too stupid or callous to understand. I rarely wish severe IBD upon anybody, but anybody who thinks severe UC is an illness of the mind needs to have it for a year or so. Then they'd get it.

My family aren't as crassly insensitive, but they have never given a crap about my disease either. Never spoke to me about it, never came to visit me in hospital, never even sent me any get well soon cards, darn it. Meanwhile, they catch a sodding cold or stomach bug, and they're the first to whinge to my mum for 15 minutes on the phone about it.

Re surgery: contrary to what Eva said, few of my worries have been alleviated. I have had lots of problems with leaks, skin issues, blockages (minor compared to what I had with a Crohn's stricture, but still...) Surgery sucks so hard for Crohn's compared to UC, though: it really does ****ing suck for Crohn's. (Something I find hard not to rage about.)

In lieu of a supportive family network, try to find a supportive therapist that you click well with and see them as often as you can afford. (I'm guessing money is an issue as well...) Pills are only a short term solution, sadly, and anything which is actually effective (benzos, opiates) also comes with a tolerance/addiction burden. It absolutely sucks. I have problems with severe anxiety myself and would take benzos or opiates every day for it if I could.

Are you in remission or flaring at the moment?

Edit: There are a few other, non-addictive, meds you could try. Some antidepressants have sedative/anti-anxiety properties. Even something like Atarax, a first generation antihistamine, might help: I took 50mg of that $hit about an hour ago and it has helped me to calm down from my former state of extreme anxiety. It's not as good as being on morphine or oxycodone, but it's better compared to how I was two hours ago. Ultimately, meds will never be more than a short-term fix. But I can understand just needing to get through the day or night without having a breakdown. I hope your situation improves soon, beatUC. Nothing lasts forever, so try to hang in there.

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 6/28/2014 8:36:53 PM (GMT-6)

I haven't really had anxiety, but I have had depression. And the only thing that helped me was finding support and advice from my GP. I had to go on several different anti-depression medication. It helped, a lot. I'm getting off of them since I don't need them anymore, but I'm glad that I found the support I needed.
Perhaps you should look into that kind of medication? I think it helps my mother's anxiety.

Screw what your family is saying. Find someone in your life who will understand and sympathize with you. Not only that, but who will be there for your that will help when you need it.

One of the worst psychological effects we have with this disease is freaking out we'll get worse, or have another flare. It would be rude of me to ever tell you not to think like that. But I think we should all think that there are other medications that may help us more than what we're on now. And thank god we have this forum where we can ask for the support and advice in this case.

I suffer from anxiety over this disease too. I was at the point where it was a horrible mental struggle just to leave my house. It was so bad for me that I knew I needed to go to counselling. I phoned up a psychologist to ask a few questions about her practice and how new patients work etc. she started asking me about what issues I was having and I broke out in tears, sobbing on the phone explaining how I couldn't leave my house. I started seeing her, first weekly, then biweekly and now about monthly. It's helping for sure. I also take a low dose of anti anxiety meds(see sig) but the counselling is helping me learn to work through the thoughts I get so hopefully one day I won't be on the elavil. My biggest anxiety comes from having to go anywhere. The car trip there, with no bathroom access is a big stressor. I also refuse to go anywhere with out immediate access to the toilet. I'm just starting to be able to convince myself to go places with limited bathroom access. I think it's a long road ahead of me to get to a semi normal level of anxiety about doing the simple things other people take for granted: grocery shop, take a long walk outside, go to someone's home etc.

Now, about it being in our heads. Yes, to a point it is in my head. Obviously if I'm flaring and pooping a million times with little to no warning NO that's not in my head...but each time it happens it adds more fuel to my anxiety the next time I'm out-even if I'm not flaring. Each time I say no to going someplace that makes me anxious I reaffirm that it's better to stay home and be safe, which isn't what I want. Sometimes if I'm out and I get very anxious about bathroom access even when I don't have to go- I will end up worrying about it so much I stress myself out and then end up having to go. So, no, my bowel problems aren't in my head, but my head DOES make things worse sometimes. I think for some of us we need to heal the mental part just as much as the physical part in order for us to ever feel "normal" again.

I'm sorry you're struggling, it's awful. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I hope you're able to access the help you need and start working towards healing.