Sex question

I am beginning a new "friendship" with a man who has ulcerative colitis and recently had surgery. He has an ileostomy bag. This "friendship" is quickly heating up and I have a feeling it's going to end up, well, you know where. This guy is amazing but I'm a bit nervous. Any tips for how to handle all this from my end: should I ask him if touching certain places is okay, should I even ask him if he can have sex? Just don't want to be insensitive. [he is on this site. so maybe he'll read this!!]

Unless he just had surgery hell almost definitely be up for sex. From what Ive been told, except the whole "novelty" factor, ostomy bags dont affect sex life at all. I would definitely talk to him about it though; it will make both of you more comfortable with it. But if it doesnt bother you, there shouldnt be any issues : )

Guardian7 said...

Marauder93 said...
Unless he just had surgery hell almost definitely be up for sex. From what Ive been told, except the whole "novelty" factor, ostomy bags dont affect sex life at all. I would definitely talk to him about it though; it will make both of you more comfortable with it. But if it doesnt bother you, there shouldnt be any issues : )

2) The bolded is a very interesting assumption to make. There are men out there who do not want sex and just want to love women. I think it feeds into the whole "men are pigs" stereotype, which is just unfair to be honest. I think it works both ways, in that it's perfectly acceptable for the women to "be up for it" and initiate.

I got your back, fellas.

Best.

True, but I was referring to the most likely situation. MOST men are down for sex in the majority of situations. There are exceptions however, but in general, its safe to assume we want it...

¨"[he is on this site. so maybe he'll read this!!]"

Yes, we are going to do it,  but with the lights off, please. I don't want you to see my thing.

And we do it fast, cause I gotta go back to gaming.

Guardian7 said...

Marauder93 said...

Guardian7 said...

Marauder93 said...
Unless he just had surgery hell almost definitely be up for sex. From what Ive been told, except the whole "novelty" factor, ostomy bags dont affect sex life at all. I would definitely talk to him about it though; it will make both of you more comfortable with it. But if it doesnt bother you, there shouldnt be any issues : )

2) The bolded is a very interesting assumption to make. There are men out there who do not want sex and just want to love women. I think it feeds into the whole "men are pigs" stereotype, which is just unfair to be honest. I think it works both ways, in that it's perfectly acceptable for the women to "be up for it" and initiate.

I got your back, fellas.

Best.

True, but I was referring to the most likely situation. MOST men are down for sex in the majority of situations. There are exceptions however, but in general, its safe to assume we want it...

I don't believe that to be honest. Many men (and women) are just bending over to the demands of society... and thinking that they must get laid, even if it's not what they really need. The subliminal messages are everywhere - even on this site.

If it's out of love and mutual respect, then it seems to work out, but most of the time it's not.

One can argue that repressing their true desire (and this applies to women as well) NOT to have sex perpetuates "dis"-ease. I really do feel that more people need to say no and look within for what they really want.

Just my personal take. I still respect your opinion. :)

Best.

Well evolution and natural selection say otherwise, but honestly I dont really care to debate the topic too much : p

Thanks for the responses. Humor helps. I think this guy can go with the flow, so to speak. I will be respectful of him. I only asked for those who have gone through this…sorry, if i touched some nerves. Thanks again.


[by the way, we did it..awesome. bye]

We had a discussion in the back seat of his car!! Covered all subjects. Looking out over a cornfield..awesome. we're good! Thanks for all the advice. "what bag" sez I??