OT - Apology

Hey guys. Some of you read a post I made last night that could have been taken offensively (I had the mods delete it since then). One or two of you said I really need to see a therapist, and others shunned me for it being so off topic. I just want to say I'm sorry for that.

I usually have viewed a support group as a group of friendships. In the in-person group I go to we don't just talk about our diseases, but our whole lives and how we are managing to find our way in spite of our health challenges.

I haven't brought onto this forum 90% of the things going on in my life. I just have talked about some serious issues I had in my life, because I felt as though I was struggling with them to a higher degree due to the God awful pains I have from Remicade. Last night I was worried about something else involving a professional relationship, and I went about it the wrong way.

When I get to hurting badly sometimes I'm not quite myself. I'll try not to make posts when I feel that way from now on, but this site is one of the few places that I at least used to feel accepted in when I was struggling.

I am aware that I can choose surgery and be done with the pains and the disease. I have been told I can try other biologics, but after hearing from many on this site with similar pains it looks like essentially all of the biologics can cause these issues, and since I'm in full remission I wonder if that is really worth it. I have one contact of a doctor in a different state that may be able to look outside the box at my situation more, but have some responsibilities that I need to see to in the next month or two before I can do that.

Surgery sounds like a huge blessing at times, but I'm not 100% comfortable with the finite-ness of it yet. My optimistic side has me believing there is a better way, although I usually get criticism of that idea when I mention it on here because of the time it may take to find that way.

I just felt extremely bad, guilty, and sad after hearing some of your responses to that post last night. I'm sorry it came off wrong. If you knew my own family situation you would know how far-off I am from any sort of prejudice. If I explained the situation better you would also have understood why I was worried, but I didn't do it right, and certainly do not want to even talk about it now.

I felt like either I should stop posting to the forum from the way some of you felt, or that I should apologize and try to re-route my idea of what is appropriate on here.

I just hope that I'm still accepted on here as someone who has their own struggles, and not looked down on because I've mentioned things other than strictly my main health issue repeatedly.

Post Edited (Thoreau) : 8/29/2014 10:56:38 AM (GMT-6)

Being that we're all bonded here by our disease at the core, I think we can all understand/relate to the ups and downs we face in life. I think the people who post here should be quite humble in that respect. I'll put my tar and feathers back in the closet....for now ;)

I choose to hold my tongue, so to say, regarding surgery with you. I believe it would be your best option, truthfully....but you haven't had the opportunity to actually think about it given all that has gone on in your life over the years.

There are those of us who get where you're coming from, and others who don't.....perspective is everything on both ends regarding understanding in the moment. You risk every time you say something, for it'll surely offend someone. I admire your truthfulness, honesty and sensitivity....

I missed the postings you're talking about....and while I can only imagine who might have allowed the issue to run amuck....I hope you look at the possibilities that some do put forth only crap at any opportunity. While it can hurt deeply, look past that to those you KNOW who will give you honest support no matter what is said.

I have a question for you....how much time do you spend on the forum checking in to see what's going on in general?

q

While your apology is appreciated it is not needed. Most of know who you are as a person (sort of lol). I know I've had some rants I wanted to share or even off the wall thoughts, I usually just take a step back, reread what I put before hitting submit. Half the time I just erase it lol

quincy said...
I have a question for you....how much time do you spend on the forum checking in to see what's going on in general?

I have the forum as my first tab on my browser bookmark tabs, that are on every time I open up Chrome. In general I check in between two and four days a week, and sometimes more than once during those days.

I contribute where I feel I can, though often times I'll check in when I'm too late to think clearly after a long day of working. Those days it's just not smart... just like it wasn't smart last night to make a post.

I generally try to contribute to people feeling really down in general, or to give support on things like those going through surgery, and on contemplative thinking on causes and cure ideas.

Thanks Thoreau. Hope you feel better today.

q

Thoreau, I find you to be very thoughtful in your posts and consider you a comrade in our collective struggle. What happened with that post is in the past and was unintentional, so it's time to move on. You are a valued member of our community. Please stay engaged and continue to share your reflections and experiences.

I look for your posts because i feel a personal connection with you given your severe joint pains on remicade. From my own experience I am so glad I stopped the Remi, and 2 months later with prednisone I now feel like my normal self! Can't imagine how you continue to endure the severe pains & side effects of pain meds. Must wear you down. There are other UC drugs yet for us to try if you are willing & can regain your resilience. Sounds like you need time & a break before making big decisions. Wishing you well, as always.