ArPAr said...
I know it's scary and frustrating and I've certainly felt exactly like you're feeling right now. But Honestly, if you feel you've lost all quality of life and your life is solely revolving around your disease/hospital stays/hospital bills/being stuck in bed/etc then really what good are you doing yourself or anybody else by "continuing to fight"?
Surgery isn't about giving up - it's another treatment option, which admittedly comes with it's own set of potential side effects and life adjustments like any other treatment.
Who cares how much longer other people have been dealing with their disease. Plenty of others flare for a week and then go into remission for months or years at a time. Their disease might not be severe enough to require more extensive treatments.
What matters is you and how your body is doing and how the disease is affecting YOU. If you've gotten no relief from any medicines/supplements/diets then at least having a conversation with a surgeon to explore your options and ask some questions would never hurt. You don't actually have to go through with surgery just because you have a consult.
Just stop feeling like it's "giving up". I'm two months post my final surgery and for the first time in 4 years I'm once again beginning to pursue the career I want, FINALLY making plans to move out of my parents house again after having to move back here two years when my disease completely overtook my life again (now that my medical bills are primarily paid off and I feel comfortable moving away from the main hospital I've been treated at, and able to work again without fear of having to leave immediately and be stuck in the hospital again, and broke, etc), and I'm finally remembering what it's like to be a single 20 something with a social life and friends and fun again.
I'd certainly rather be doing all of this than being miserable and sick everyday "fighting the fight" all to maintain some insane sense of pride like I once did for so long.
Your post makes me feel better. This is what I am hoping for, to have surgery, recover, and be able to start living my life again. I would love to finish my degree and work towards a career. At this point I've signed up for next semester, but I am worried I will have to miss more school because I definitely do not feel healthy. I feel so incredibly exhausted all the time because of my anaemia. I never had anaemia before, it just started for me April of this year, around the time where I started getting much sicker. Yesterday I went shopping with my boyfriend and took my dog for just a 20 minute walk afterwards. When I came home I was super shaky and sleepy, I had to have a nap to recuperate. Makes me feel so frustrated because last year I would go to school/study for 8 hours and then head out to the SPCA as a volunteer to walk high energy dogs for 2+ hours in the evening with no time for napping in between. There are so many things I used to do that I can't imagine doing now.
Post Edited (annadee) : 8/30/2014 3:45:40 PM (GMT-6)