Fed up of trying to keep a brave face

I'm sure you all have felt are are feeling that each day is a struggle when suffering with UC. When you're out and about and inside you are struggling to keep it together but nobody ever knows your pain as you just keep smiling and acting like nothing is wrong. Well I'm fed up with it now and feel like getting in to bed, pulling the duvet over my head and not coming out until I'm better and feel happy again :(

I can relate...people at work know what I have, but have no clue what I am actually going through because I too put on a brave face. I don't really expect them to really know what I am going through but just a little care would be nice. I hope you many happy days ahead of you...you do realize you have to live up to your username, don't you? ;)

Yeah...
This is the only place I'm not faking it.
And crying in the shower.

It's normal to feel this way, but that just makes it all the more amazing when you get into remission. When you get there (which you will) you'll be able to appreciate things like never before. You'll should be incredibly proud of yourself for carrying on despite all this and it should let you know you can conquer anything.

In the meantime, is there nobody close to you who you can share what you're going through with?

Happychick said...
Thanks guys I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling like this. I do have a great family but all can be slightly self consumed in their own issues and illnesses to want to listen to mine. My husband actually also has UC and he is going through a bad patch too at the moment. So when I start to moan to him he kind of replies by saying he doesn't want to hear it as he is fed of it himself and is trying to put it at the back of his mind. I do speak with my mum but for some reason it seems to make me feel weaker when I tell her about my symptoms and I just cry

Oh wow, that's an incredibly difficult situation to be in. When I became friends with people with UC it initially was a godsend, but eventually ended up making me feel weaker, because like your husband, they didn't like talking about it and just wanted to battle on.

I think maybe if you mention it to your doctor they can arrange for some emotional support, if you'd be open to that. But just want you to know you're not alone, we know how hard the smallest things are and you're being incredibly brave, even when all you manage to do that morning is make it out of bed.

Hey sorry your feeling so bad, its like a blinking roller coaster this illness! that can leave you feeling drained and emotional. Its bad luck that your husband also has UC but its good that you can talk with your mum, cry even, that's not such a bad thing, because I think there is an element of grief in our tears.....for who we once were.

That's why I'm so thankful for this online community. I don't really have anyone in my life who really sympathizes with me. They're more the type that only understand if you're in a wheelchair, wearing a cast, or are actively bleeding on their carpet. Here lately, when I feel like you do, I tell my hubby I need some time to myself, and I crawl into bed and read until I fall asleep. I refuse to always feel guilty about it.

Keep your chin up. Listen to your body, and get some rest. Vent to us, we've been there. Take a "me" day when you can, where you don't feel obligated to pretend anything.