Returning to work

I'm scheduled to return to work tomorrow after being out with this flare for 2 months.

I've had 2 Remicade infusions and am still waiting for it to kick in. I know it can take a while and maybe not until the 3-4 infusion. I've been tapering Prednisone and am down to 5mg. I've been alternating Canasa and Cortifoam nightly.

My stools are alternating between semi formed and water and lots of times still just all blood. I haven't had any cramping until this past week. I know when a semi formed stool is coming by the cramping. There must still be a ton of inflammation in there by the level of pain I'm experiencing. I can still just barely make it to the bathroom from the sofa and sometimes don't.

I really wanted to make an effort to try to get back to work and am feeling really guilty about being out and the added pressure this has put on my co-workers. I'm in a customer facing job, the bathroom is VERY far away and short of wearing Depends (which would be fine if I wasn't with customers, I have loud bathroom trips ugh) I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to return tomorrow.

Thanks kiptyn.

Eating, as we know, always promotes bowel motion. Morning and evening seems to be the worst.

This morning I woke with a terrible migraine. No sure if it's the prednisone taper or dehydration or what's going on.

I called the GI and my case manager for FMLA/STD this morning. I can't go to work like this.

I agree with poppie.

The first wealth is your health (mental, physical, spiritual), then let the chips fall where they may. :)

I would not be able to work in a flare... under any circumstances. Your attempt to go back is courageous and brave.

I think what bothers me most is the insurance claim manager and my co-workers and boss not really understanding what is going on. It's honest ignorance. I'm not blaming them, but all they have to do is hit the Google button. There is plenty out there that would give them a little bit of understanding. I'm not about to tell them, nor should I have to, everything that is going on with trying to deal with this disease. It's that "hidden disease" syndrome. My face is fat, moonface ( my iPad tried correcting that to moo face, which seems appropriate) so I must be gaining weight right? I don't look sick...they should follow me to the bathroom.

So I guess it's mainly my guilt. I have to let go and concentrate on getting well.

Thanks everyone for the support :)