Are you scared of surgery?

I am a bit torn. On one hand, I would love to not have the uncertainty of UC looming over my head anymore. It would be nice to know what my system can do/handle for sure and not have a UC flare up ever be a surprise or random event lurking in the corner. My major life focus for the last two years was recovering from my eating disorder. It ate up all my extra focus and energy. Then to have UC suddenly enter the mix and possibly wreck all the progress I made was disheartening to say the least. With my circumstances, I am more attached to whatever option allows me more freedom with diet, because life with an eating disorder was its own hell.

If flare ups keep occurring and the meds stop working, and I find myself not eating very much to cope with the pain and fevers, I would want surgery as soon as possible. I am definitely a little afraid of the complications and if I would be able to recover from my eating disorder. I am afraid of complications that will be difficult to deal with. I'm afraid of the possibility of having to live with a bag, but i'm sure i'll adapt.

In short, I wouldn't hesitate to have the surgery if my quality of life was being wrecked and meds weren't helping, and while I would be happy to be done with the disease, i'd be a little scared of going to the "point of no return".