Family scaring me about next steps

Since my progress has been shaky at best, I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I'm probably going to have to move on to stronger medicines. I'm scared enough as it is, but my parents are making me feel even worse about it. They keep saying things like, "Just wait and see, don't jump to conclusions. We don't want you to make a mistake. Those drugs are toxic, don't take them if you don't have to. Just eat well and keep your stress down." They act as if they know all about this condition. When I tried to explain why I can't look at it that way and that I feel worse about this not having their support, my dad got angry at me and said, "Do what you want." Are you kidding me, of course I don't WANT this. I'm just saying that if I have to do it, I need their support. It's so frustrating trying to explain things to them when they're not the ones going through it. And if I try to show them the research, they say that I rely too much on looking things up on the internet. I just can't win.

Just needed to vent.

You are 26 and your parents need to treat you as an adult. That may be really hard for them. I'm a parent and I'm also a daughter and I know what you are going through. They love you and want the best for you.

My advice is to stick to your plan. You know what is best for you. When your parents offer advice like this, listen politely and say thank you for caring about me. Don't argue with them, don't even try to educate them as this is likely to be frustrating for everyone. You can ask them to support you emotionally and be there for you when you are tired and ill. They will come to respect your decisions over time.

If they pursue you with arguments against the treatments you choose, reflect back to them that you understand they are worried and you can see that they are anxious about your health. Let them know that you have done a lot of research on treatment options, that you get good support from this forum, that your DR is well respected in the field and treats many patients like you. Etc.

{{{{HUGS}}}}}

And just wait 20 years for when your parents are making what you think are wackadoodle decisions about their own health and you have to stand by and watch. That day will be equally frustrating for everyone.

I am at the point where the only thing left is surgery. I feel like if things get bad for me, that's looming. Having Rx options available is great. I've never had support from anyone and i've gotten used to it. You are an adult and you need to make decisions based on your own research. No one is possibly going to be able to offer assistance on your condition unless they have experience with it and it sounds like they are spitting out useless "Ideas" that seem nice but aren't based in research. If they are so concerned, they should try reading and they will see that you're following protocol. Sorry to vent but people do this to me too, they always think they know what will work, but they don't bother to do 1 minute of research on the topic. So annoying. You should see if they will go to the doctor with you, maybe then they will believe you are doing accurate research. To be honest, long term prednisone is the worst possible thing for you, getting on something that keeps you in remission is imperative.

I support kazbern's suggestion.
This is about you being an adult and their wanting to treat you as their child.

The hard part for you is that you want support without being told what to do and they cannot separate the two (giving support without being in charge).

I support pb4 post!

I know this probably shouldn't make a difference but do you live at home or on your own? Are you still on their insurance or do you have your own? Do you pay your own medical costs or do they? These could all factor in to the equation.

I think that pb4 is right about why your parents are acting this way, but that doesn't make it OK for them to take their fear and turn it into YOUR problem. You're the one who is dealing with the day to day physical and emotional reality of living with this disease -- if your parents are scared, they can talk to each other, a support group, a therapist (heck, even HW); they shouldn't be increasing your stress by exposing you to theirs.

I went through something similar with my parents, so when I made the decision to have surgery I said to my parents flat out: "I have decided to do this. I'm doing it because I know it's right for me. I need you to support me in this decision." The trade off of this is that you can't force your parents to feel worse than they already do. If they're terrified of the treatment options, don't force them to talk about it or read internet research. You can "agree to disagree" and find the support you need elsewhere (here, from your GI, friends, therapist, etc). If your parents are really upset about what you're going through, it might not be possible for them to be strong for you right now. The most you can ask for is that they not make it worse for you.

People get caught up in their feelings and they don't realize that airing them sometimes isn't the right thing to do. It's OK to tell your parents that you can't deal with their fears and doubts at the same time that you're dealing with everything else.

When my husband sees me doing Rowasa enemas and Lialda, he thinks I should have the surgery so I won't have to deal with this. That doesn't show much understanding. Go figure.

Hey guys, thank you so much for the responses. They helped me see both sides of this. I went through this same thing with them when I needed to go on antidepressants. What makes it even harder is that they're distrusting of this forum. Despite the fact that it's full of people with many years of UC experience, they think I'm being swayed too much by this site.

iPoop, I've been considering that, not telling them as much. I think it's just when I start to feel pain or discomfort, I get scared and go right to them with my worries. But that's clearly backfiring.

gary, I have my own insurance and pay my own bills but I do still live with my parents.