Thank you all for your responses. I'm overwhelmed with how helpful and kind you all are. I will try my best to respond to most of the points mentioned.
Yes, it is still possible I have inflammation, unfortunately my scope isn't until the fall because I'm in Canada and this isn't urgent, lol, so we wait. My blood work has never showed even the slightest amount of inflammation even when via colonoscopy it was clearly very inflamed! This has made monitoring via blood tests useless for my case unfortunately.
The dietician did spend almost two hours with me. Pb4, thanks for taking the time to write out all those details from your dietician! Very sweet. I say I'm mostly low fodmap because with the exception of occasional onion and wheat I'm low fodmap. The dietician did say we could try to elinate those last two things and reevaluate with her in 6 weeks. I might still do this, even though I did go 100% grain free before it was at a time when I was definitely flaring and so the results might have been skewed. But it doesn't appear that wheat/ gluten gives me issues, but again, I could try and know for sure. Garbage food agrees with my guts much more than healthy good (like nicecupoftea mentioned) other than maybe some distress from the grease fast food garbage is ok...but I didn't eat it for the last two years because I was trying to be kind to my guts assuming they'd be kind to me, well, they continue to flip me the middle finger, so eff them! Lol.
I think when I say I don't enjoy eating it's not because what I'm cooking isn't tasty, it is, but it's lost it's enjoyment because I feel trapped by having to make 100% from scratch anything I stick in my mouth, well, until my bender that is. I think I was feeling trapped and bitter about
food. It wa sweet of you imagardener to offer to help me with food ideas, heeheehee
I might take you up on that some days.
I also assumed my guts react to my emotions, in fact, I know this is the case sometimes. I've worked with a psychologist for about
a year and a half and found it helpful. She was really good at what she did and I think my anxiety/emotional factor of the guts is pretty well controlled, i mean, I still have to work on it, but I can identify when it's my anxiety stress and worry creating turmoil in my guts, that's why I assumed the remaining is either inflammation or food related.
I know for some diet is not related at all. For me it is at least partially a (sadly it's the healthy foods like raw veg, fruit, garlic, whole grain anything etc) but I think I need to try to loosen up and find a balance between depriving myself of everything that's tasty but "bad" even though my guts tolerate it (I.e., occasional take out)
Like iPoop and Gary said, I won't really know until I get a clean scope, until then it's a lot of guessing.
Thank you ALL again. It wa nice to get your helpful suggestions, but, more importantly to feel understood.
I will let you know if I decide to give up wheat, and dedicate 6 weeks to know for sure, or, if I just keep being a rebel until i get my scope and know for sure if I'm still dealing with inflammation.