OT Advice Given

I generally don't mention to people that I have UC, but recently I confided in a couple of old friends online that I have UC..Both of these friends promptly wrote back saying how sorry they were to hear this, but annoyingly sent me loads of links to things like supplements, coconut oil, etc., even antibiotic treatment!!! I was a bit dumbfounded as to why people would do that! And it reminded me of why I typically say nothing.

I just can not understand why people that know nothing about this disease feel it is alright to send links. It is weird, and not something I would ever think about doing. A lesson learned, I won't make that mistake again.

Have you found this with well-meaning friends and family.?

I'm sure they did it out of friendliness but some people are clueless and I believe unwanted advice is given more often to women than to men. My question is why did you tell them anything? because you couldn't do something that your UC precluded and that was the reason?

No, I do not tell people anything specific but some know that I cannot eat certain food and do not offer advice.

Even in this forum there are probably people that don't like the suggestions others make.
If someone IRL told me they had UC I'd probably followup with questions if it wasn't a public discussion but would not tell them what I've found works for me unless they asked.

Yes it's happened to me and I find it incredibly annoying. I have responded along the lines of what Quincy suggested - Thanks for your help but I've done lots of research into it over the years and have read about every diet and product there is out there, etc etc.

I realize they are trying to be helpful (which is why I try not to respond with the first angry thought that comes to mind) but I think I find it insulting or something. It feels like "You are too stupid to have looked into any of this yourself so lucky you, you have brilliant me to come to your rescue. Now you'll be cured!"

It really depends whether you feel it's best to keep your uc a secret or not. Some don't like that feeling, as it can be isolating and they choose to be more open about their illness and spread awareness of uc. At my prior job, I told a number of people. Mostly out of necessity, as I had a really bad flare that was hard to tame. In, return a lot of people opened up about their struggles (chronic back pain, diabetes, celiac, ibs, etc) and a few knew someone with Crohn's. I worked with people who were all older than me, which might've been a part of it, but it felt good knowing that I wasn't the only one with ongoing struggles with an invisible illness. I also got more slack when I needed to leave early for a doctor's appointment, or when I arrived a little late due to a bad uc morning.

I've been at a new company for a year and haven't mentioned uc to anyone. Generally, no reason to mention it.

I know people mean well, it was my fault for saying anything in the first place. People can't help offering unsolicited advice; I realise that.

The reason I said anything in the first place is that people have begun to wonder where I am, I have been "off the radar" for a long time, as I kind of lost interest in everyone, my painting, everything. But as of last week I seem to have turned a corner, I am feeling better, I had some blood work done, and I am fine, I genuinely thought I might be dying with all my other ailments.

it was my fault for saying anything in the first place

I don't think you are at fault at all. We share things with friends but don't always think about what their reaction will be. Even though they gave you unsolicited advice they now know more about you which is good in the long run. And the next time they give you advice you'll be ready with "thanks but no thanks".

I've been there with the "dying with other ailments feeling" in the past. Glad you are feeling better.

OT but I made the mistake of telling an aunt that I've had to take a bus to work because of my eyes. Now every time (every time...) she sees me she crinkles her eyes in confusion and asks, "So you take the bus to work?" And I answer her. Even at a funeral a few months ago. She pulls me to the side. "You take the bus? What's that like? The doctor approved a discounted ride? Are there mentally challenged people on there with you?" I never should have told her!

I do tell people but only close friends and coworkers. I've encountered the advice response. I took it as a friend trying to be helpful even though it was information I already knew.

For those who are embarrassed about having UC I encourage you to try to change how you feel about the condition. I've found most people are very understanding and don't see the issue on a childish light. I've found sharing with closer friends and coworkers has shown me everyone has something they deal with and that's totally OK.