how to behave

how should one behave when in an emergency situation? for example I need to go urgently or my problem is that I feel faint every day and I'm not taking steroids to prevent it so there is nothing else I can do. people who are with me say I make it obvious as in I make a face and things. what am I supposed to do when I'm in an emergency? I can't really smile it away? what do people expect from you? I don't want to upset people but when I need to walk away or do something to avert my situation then what can I do? even people who SHOULD know all get upset. I don't know what to do

I sure know your feeling and dilemma. I've been on an 11 month flare with bad urgency. Key things to remember:

1. Try not to panic and I understand thats difficult. However, if you stress about it, you are going to feel worse when the urgency hits.
2. Know your audience. For me, I can just say to the people who know about my UC, hey, I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be back. For other people, I can make up a reason or just say I have to go to the restroom. Sometimes being direct is the best way.
3. For people whom you cant be that direct with, look to speed up the conversation, try to turn the conversation over to someone else and excuse yourself. You have to be aware of who youre with and how you can quickly end the conversation.
4. Try to be proactive and not reactive. usually i can feel a BM coming if my stomach hurts for a minute or if my stomach is rumbling. I then know to get to a bathroom because trouble is coming. SOmetimes it results in a BM, a lot of times it doesnt. however, i'd much rather have a false alarm than put myself in a corner.

to a large extent, dont worry about "upsetting people". do what you have to do. if they knew what you were going through, they'd understand. quickly say "excuse me for a second" and exit the conversation before they have a chance to respond. if you can, come back to the conversation and apologize and say either you had to run to the bathroom or you had a phone call or you forgot to do something, that will largely depend on who you are with.

and if people know that you have this illness and what it entails and they still get upset, that's a poor reflection of character on them and certainly not your problem.

Old Hat said...
I agree with the comments above: just say "Excuse me!" if you are able. RE feeling faint: is your blood pressure O.K.? This is definitely a problem to discuss with doctor if it bothers you every day. / Old Hat (36 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)

I've talked to an internist about it and she diagnosed me with low blood pressure while standing. She prescribed me fludrocortisone but I don't want to take it. I already have bone loss as it is. I try to help the condition with compression socks but it doesn't always work.

Oh hey, I was just thinking about you Andrina.

I am sorry you're dealing with this. I don't know what to say. If you have to go, and it's urgent, it's going to impact your ability to act "normal". It's stressful knowing you only have a moment to get to the toilet. It's embarrassing too... The last thing you need is someone pointing a finger at you for making a face, but I get it, it's awkward to make that face, especially in public. I don't see how you could possibly hide it if it's urgent, when things were urgent for me, the only thing I could think about was getting to the toilet ASAP. Whatever face I made was unintentional. Can you use a rectal to try to stop this urgency? How about something for stress? I can't imagine you can control stress if you're on the verge of pooping your pants though, and who would want to? If I am going to poop myself, I need some pressure to get going to the toilet asap. How about therapy for you, or the friend who tells you this stuff? Look for patterns, did you eat something that caused you to have to go urgently, a big meal?