A whole new poopy world and I’m scared

I am so sorry that you are going through all of that at once. That's a lot. I am also sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. There are some really great people on here with more knowledge than I have on different treatments for colitis, so I don't have a ton of advice, I just wanted to say hi and that you are not alone. I haven't been hospitalized (yet), and so far I have responded well to various mesalamine combinations, but I am sure that is very scary and stressful. This disease can feel very isolating at times, and I hope that things turn around for you quickly here, and that they get everything figured out soon. I will say that I have gone through periods of misery and long periods of remission, so hopefully everything gets squared away and things trend toward remission soon. I am sure they have, but have they checked you for C.Diff?

In the meantime, do you have any family or friends nearby that can visit you and lend support? I didn't tell my friends about my diagnosis for a couple of years until I got really sick, and I wish that I would have shared it with them sooner. There is something about the isolation of this disease that seems to make everything worse for me. Anyway, thinking of you. Whenever I get really bad, I try and find little ways to treat myself to at least emotionally feel better (like Netflix marathons, mindless chick-lit, lavender essential oils, epsom salt baths help me with the cramping etc).

The treatment goal for UC patients is to get into a sustained remission (that is an absence of all uc symptoms) when you are essentially normal and that can last for years. So, no, continual flares and awful symptoms aren't the expected normal for all UC patients indefinitely. Flares (what you're experiencing now) do happen to us all and we treat them as quickly as we can to resume a remission.

Trial-and-error is how UC is treated for all of us and it can be frustrating. Your doctor may not get your treatment right the 1st time, 2nd time, or sometimes even the 3rd time. It happens to most of us. Why? Patient response to various treatments varies a lot. We all have our own, individual solution of which treatments, combonation of medications and doses, and other things that work for us. There's nothing universal that works for all UC patients. If you look at our signatures then you'll see how varied our individual treatments are.

Combination-therapy is the most successful with UC, meaning you're on multiple medications at once; not one. They can certainly add to what you're taking now.