Surgery advice

This is a strange question and perhaps not the best forum but as I have UC I have asked many questions here before.

However my father has not got IBD but on the weekend had emergency surgery to remove hos entiire colon, fitting a stoma. Naturally due to the emergency nature, and high drugs following a 7 hr op he is devestated, shocked, confused.
I assume regardless of the reason why a stoma is now a stoma.
Does anybody know any good sites or books i could suggest to my mother of what to expect, what to eat, how to help.
As i managed to avoid surgery myself I am preparing her for the mental anguish, the anger and frustration of his body turning against him that we all felt until we accepted it but its hard to communicate that when i was diagnosed ten yrs ago and lead a normal life (as will he in time).
He said a stoma was his biggest fear - which I found strange as its not my biggest fear but the last ten years have been about my colon so the role reversal itself is hard. (Can honestly say it was easier being the one rushed to hospital in agony crapting a lot of blood than watching somebody else)

Id also like to know if anybody had a stoma surgery and how they cope afterwards? I want to validate his emotions but also reassure both my parents that in time standing up to poo with a bag instead of sitting down is going to be fine.
I already had to tell my 66yr old mother that people have sex wearing bags, that was a strange conversation but shes firing a lot of questions at me due to shock and want to know where to look for advice.

Hes still in ICU so his questions are drug induced atm and hoping morphine can wipe his memory of the trauma a bit. He said yesterday “its always been my job to look after you” and i suspect his fear of a bag was one he only thought about because of me too.

There is an ostomy forum on the healingwell website.

My prospective is that the ostomy instantly improved the quality of my life, so I was happy with it.

The emergency surgery and ostomy saved your father’s life. It’s a big change of life for someone who had a normal working colon but he’s alive because of the ostomy.

There are local ostomy support groups.

It takes a couple of weeks to learn how to empty and change the ostomy. The output will thicken up and slow down as he heals.

The best thing to do is to find ostomy supplies that your father likes. There are many different brands. Order free samples so he has them for when he gets home. I preferred Coloplast ostomy supplies.

Is his ostomy permanent? Or will it be reversed?

I was also scared to have a stoma and a bag. I put off having surgery for a long time because of this. But I've had my stoma since January and it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. It will take time for your dad to adjust, but in the end he will feel so much better.