permanent personality changes after heart bypass?

I read so much of my own experience here. I'm about 11 months post double CABG (not on the pump) and I'm a nurse who worked in the heart surgery room. I feel like a different person, and I don't mean in a good way. There are other factors at work here, but I think most of my issues are related to the heart surgery. I, too, have wondered if it wouldn't have been better to let nature take it's course and had that predicted life-ending heart attack. My LAD, known at the 'widow maker' was 95% blocked and my circumflex was 85% blocked. My cardiologist said I was about 2 weeks from having a heart attack ending my life. I sometimes wish it had happened, I'm so unhappy and uncomfortable emotionally. I've read this goes on for sometimes 18 months and I'm banking on feeling better when I can come off the statin and plavix, and utilize antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs. This is such a slow process. I absolutely hate it.