Janice,
The 4.5 hour treck would have sent me over the bridge. Went squirrel hunting once with husband and after 1st 1/2 hour wanted to go home and I did not like to carry the deceased squirrels. I even cried as I was freezing. Hubby never invited me along again - I am so glad. (*_*)
I understand why your feeling hopeless and wondering if life is always going to throw curve balls at you. My therapist told me a couple of weeks ago - My family loves me but they don't know how to help me which causes them to be frustrated. It causes me to feel so lonely and sad but I try to understand. She also wrote on my instruction sheet - You will get better. There are time I cried and prayed to get better and just not have to go through these horrible feelings.
I think you should see you psychiatrist when your back home. Also if the trip is to much for you it is ok to go home. Don't beat yourself up or try to please others when you are feeling down and in pain.
When you’re depressed, it can feel like you’ll never get out from under its shadow. But take heart. Even the most severe depression is treatable. With the right help and support, you can and will feel better.
Lifestyle changes are simple but powerful tools in treating depression. Sometimes they might be all you need. Even if you need other treatment, lifestyle changes go a long way towards helping lift depression. And they can help keep depression at bay once you are feeling better. I keep working on not beating myself up or feeling like this is all my fault as I am not a stronger person. I know this is not true so please know you are one of the kindest, caring people I know. It is time to take care of you and let us help you.
Vent away ! Many prayers and hugs.
Joy, Hey there - the field trip - sounds like you did a great job. No matter how hard you try there are always people that like to whine and crab up how we have handle a situation. I always want to say - well next time you plan and execute this event. 
Where attention goes, energy flows. What we focus on tends to expand itself. Since we can only focus on one thing at a time, energy spent on negativity is energy that could have been spent on our personal wellbeing.
Be your own best friend here, Joy, as you know you did a really awesome job and others could not have done it better. Do not be anyones whipping post and take that deep breath right before you tell them you are sorry they feel that way. Remember they own the problem.
Now put your feet up, give yourself a hug for me and know we all love and care for you.
Denise, Wondering if the little guy wore you out yesterday ? Yes, grandpas are wonderful and they like to play with the grandchildren but grandmas are the ones they want to hold and cuddle them, fix their boo boos when they get older and reach for when they are crying. Grandchildren don't care how you look on the outside, they love you for who you are ! Wonderful feeling.
The sun is out today and hubby is upnorth. I feel freedom. Is that a bad thing to feel ? I don't have to try to hide my feelings . I can just be me and not worry about whether I am doing what is expected of me.
That makes me feel a bit guilty but I will let go of any guilt and give myself permission to just be in the moment. Thank you for the mail. You are always there and may I be always here for you.
Bill - I bet it is ballgames today with the weather finally nicer. Enjoy and hope you are doing well. Today is a day for home runs !
Love to all,
Kitt