Do you ever think about how life was before GERD/LPR?

Man I can't stop thinking of how life was before this all started....

I think it's because I had NF and still feel my symptoms :(

I thought the surgery would give me my old life back...I guess I have to wait or accept it.....

It's hard....

I know this is a mental thing but when I'm in public I see so many people living their life as nothing is wrong no health problems. Of course I don't know what they ate going through but I feel like the person who's suffering looking at everyone else who's happy...I'm sorry today is just a down day for me. The only place to vent is here....

Denise, sometimes I wish I could have a pocket size version of you on my shoulder to always be there to lift my spirits up...thanks

Today after church, we had a benefit luncheon for the youth in our church. I couldn't sit and eat with the rest of the congregation. There wasn't a thing on the menu I could eat. It broke my heart. I told my friends why. I didn't want them to think I just didn't want to eat with them.

I felt really sorry for myself. Then it dawned on me, God is in control. He allows things to happen to us, even bad things. He knows what's best for us. To Him we give the glory.

I thought of my adult daughter who couldn't get in a car and drive to church due to illness - of all the simple things she can't eat, can't put in her stomach. I felt ashamed of myself.

I think we all see healthy people and feel 'why not me?' It's okay to feel that way and to express it to our friends - especially on here. That's why we're here - to express our suffering - to share - to give and receive encouragement.

I ask God each day to bless all of us here - to heal us if it's His will and if not - then give us peace of mind through Christ Jesus.

I sure did enjoy the smell of that wonderful Italian cooking though!

Blessings,
cme

Max,

You asked me in Joe's thread how waiting can help improve things.  I'll try to explain it.  Your body has been through a lot.  First with the GERD and LPR that led you to this surgery, then the surgery itself.

You have had constant inflammation of the upper GI tract and it takes time for the tissue to heal and get back to being normal and healthy.  This does not happen instantly after your surgery.

You had a hernia repair, then your stomach was stretched, pulled and stitched.  There is a great deal of swelling that has to go down.  The esophagus interprets all the pain it is feeling in strange ways, and you may be feeling some of that and assuming it's continued reflux.

Yes, the wrap and stomach are swollen.  As I've said, that can possibly allow some reflux.  Until the swelling subsides healing doesn't really start in earnest.  All of this takes time.  In an ideal world we probably wouldn't have to eat...so that all that healing could take place without being irritated further by the foods we have to force down.

Our necessary eating during recovery challenges our wraps/stomachs and healing esophaguses even further.  There's no way around that though.

In addition to all this, our internal organs have been moved around and have been traumatized in their own way in order to allow the sugery. 

All of these things have to be resolved before we will have a chance to really heal.

Will things be perfect after surgery?  I'm sure they won't.  I have quirks and discomforts with my stomach and wrap.  But is it better than it was?  It sure is.  It's much, much better.  So if I have to continue to deal with some upper GI issues I can handle it.

We're taking a little mini vacation and I've eaten too much and had too many beers over the past few days.  Because of this my wrap is irritated.  But, hey...that's life.  It'll calm down again once things get back to normal. 

It was still well worth the effort.  Might I have to get a redo?  Certainly.  Would I relish the thought?  No, but I'd do it again without hesitation.  I can't go back to where I was.  It's not perfect but it's a huge improvement.

Hang in there, and try to keep the faith...

Best wishes,

Denise

 

Denise,

You have a way of calming my nerves. Thank you for that post. Max and I have had our difficult times. Max is probably better at handling this than me because I've had my panic attacks and crying spells. I hope crying does not damage the surgery. I'm also a Christian. Denise, Max, I'm afraid of getting cancer not because of dying but because of pain. I'm more afraid of pain than death. Another thing I don't like about LPR is the acid mouth and halitosis. How can I ever find a wife with this condition. I feel like I will be single and lonely forever with this condition. Sometimes I feel like my life is over.

Max,

Please stay positive and give it more time. My time is coming for Surgery soon and if I can get just a little relief, it will be worth it. Taking all these PPI's and H2 blocker pills everyday is no picnic especially when they don't work. Everyone is different and not everyone can recover at the same rate. Do any of your symptoms feel any better at all compared to before your surgery?

Saleen










NF Surgery Date April 5, 2012

Max,

Sorry to hear about the burning in your throat and mouth. Since this is a rarer side effect of Gerd, perhaps it will take longer to heal. Hopefully some folks here on the forums can share the healing time needed for the throat and mouth problems.

Saleen

Maximus,

You are not alone in this thought, as I dwell in it all the time. Although Denise is absolutely right, I find it difficult not to look at others who don't have this problem with a bit of envy. When this happens, I usually go back in time and think about all the things I used to be able eat and drink. But worst of all, I often find myself in disbelief at the fact that I could do all these things and never knew a condition like LPR existed. I wonder if I was more aware of this condition and refrained from these things in the past, if somehow I wouldn't have ended up with this? But, I will never know and dwelling doesn't help anything but I still can't seem to stop. What helps me during times like this is to be appreciative of all the good things in my life like my family and friends. Sometimes I think how much harder this LPR thing would be to manage if they weren't there for me.

Just wanted to tell you that you're not alone and that I have faith in your recovery.

Maximus, just thinking about chapped lips, I'm just wondering if that may be related to something else. If they are dry and cracking it might be worth taking an essential fatty acid supplement, evening primrose or linseed oil, especially if you have dry skin elsewhere. Zinc may also help, and stores of zinc can be depleted by surgery and chronic ill health. You can get chewable zinc too. There were studies showing zinc aided post op recovery and speeded wound healing.

Chaoticme, my church has a few food based events which I find hard too. And that's on top of the coffee and biscuits I watch everybody have every Sunday. I have food allergies, which makes things even trickier, especially when they do a "bring and share" and I can't go round asking everyone for a list of ingredients! Sometimes I take my own lunch to these things, other times I just don't go, because, like everyone else, just watching other people enjoying their food without a care for their stomachs is too much to bear. . . .

MMM

Hi maximus

Just wanted to put this out there...regarding your chapped lips, have you ever considered B2 or riboflavin deficiency?? I don't recall whether or not you were on PPI's prior to the Nissen but those can cause malabsortion of B vitamins along with other things of course. My father in law had this condition about 7 or 8 years ago. It's called chielosis (or riboflavin deficiency). His lips were red and mildly chapped and the corners of his mouth had little paper cut-looking slits or cracks in them. Just a thought.

And yes...I often think about my pre-GERD life...especially since I have been going through this less than a year and the wound is still fresh. I am only 30 and have to abstain from things other people don't even think about. It crosses my mind at least once or twice a day. I do try to remind myself that it could be worse. I could be suffering from MS like my friend's brother who's not even 40 yet. I could have had a disorder from birth. I could have diabetes or have been in a bad accident leaving me with little or no function...and the list goes on. This disease certainly is a cross to bear though it is not the worst. Give yourself a moment to be down and out and then give yourself a pep talk, pray and ask God for strength, and coerse yourself to keep on pressing on. You have had the Nissen and things SHOULD continue to improve. You are only at week 4 and I have read many posts on here from post -Nissen folk who are questioning whether or not they should have had it and saying it didn't work and most repost later on in their recovery only to say they are doing really well.

Take care,
Liz

Thanks Liz for the enouraging words.

JAM, I'm seriously thinking considering of doing some dental repair work for my teeth. If I knew my mouth, throat, and lips wouldn't get any more damaged. I could live with the pain. It's honestly bearable. What's not is knowing that its not stopping. The pain is there but it's not unbearable. My teeth are sensitive yes but it's not unbearable.

I'm 29 days post today. I'm hanging in there......I hope one day my mouth and throat will turn for the better......you guys will be the first to know about it trust me ;)