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GERD and dating....

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GERD & Acid Reflux
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Posted 6/30/2012 6:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

I"be had LPR for 4 years now. I am taking ppi's, but they don't seem to work. I will switch medication soon.

My question :)

I met this girl who I am very interested in. The last time I had a relationship my gf didn't understand my condition and it exacerbated our relationship. I had it before we met, but I told her about during our relationship and things went south.


I moved on. How should I bring up a condition like this to a new person I am dating? Or should I avoid it?

Should I tell her what my symptoms are at the beginning? Or will she be scared and run away? I am not sure what to do.

By the way I am in my mid-20s

Post Edited (Ringo99) : 6/30/2012 12:33:07 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/30/2012 6:29 PM (GMT 0)
IMO, she isn't worth your time or heart if she can't understand a condition like this. I don't necessarily think you should throw it around like candy, but as part of conversation I see no harm in talking about it.
Posted 6/30/2012 7:23 PM (GMT 0)
I'd talk about it. It's coming out at some point u may as well get it out in the open before getting too attached.
Posted 7/1/2012 2:11 AM (GMT 0)
Once you get to know the girl a bit you may feel more comfortable in discussing it. For instance, if you take her to dinner you can subtly mention it and correlate it to what foods you can eat or can't eat. Chances are she will be more understanding than the other girl and may even know someone who has it too. Don't be afraid to be up front because the longer you hide it the worse it will get. Like anything, just be yourself and be honest. Best of Luck!
Posted 7/2/2012 3:06 AM (GMT 0)
I am married but with new people I meet, I let the issue come up organically. I feel sort of awkward sitting down for a first meeting and being like, "Hey, I'm Ashley and have acid reflux." I'm sure if you always order something without tomatoes or chocolate or something eventually it'll come up. Of course, if you're going to their house for dinner or something, you might need to give them "THE LIST" of stuff you can't eat and there it is.

I also completely agree that someone who "doesn't understand" or is intolerant of your unasked for condition is NOT worth your time. I wouldn't compromise on that at all. Not quite remembering everything about it at first is one thing, but being rude or impatient about it is unacceptable. Why anyone would even want to hassle you about it is incomprehensible to me.

Just my two cents :)
Ashley
Posted 7/2/2012 7:35 AM (GMT 0)
Personally I'd stay single as long as I have LPR.

Although my ex was understanding, my LPR still somewhat ruined the relationship, and it has been making a influence to my friendship and social life in a negative way. It is "irresponsible" for me to start a relationship again because I feel like that person will need to bear with all my symptoms indirectly.
Posted 7/2/2012 4:38 PM (GMT 0)
I know that LPR and GERD arelong-term conditions. I want to continue my life and manage my symptoms. I don't want this condition to ruin the other aspects of my life.
Posted 7/2/2012 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
Don't let GERD ruin your life. You can still have a life with the condition, you just have to figure out how to make the adjustments. If someone is not willing to be a bit flexible, that person probably is not a person you want to be with. My husband had to make some adjustments and he gets frustrated at times but he loves me as I do him and we make it work.
Posted 7/2/2012 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
I kinda had the same thought about how dating would be "irresponsible" when my GERD/LPR first got bad because it would have an impact on the other person.

After a while, I realized I couldn't let this condition put my life on hold. GERD could not control my life. If someone I'm dating is not interested in being with someone with my condition, that's fine. We both move on. At the height of my GERD symptoms, I met a very wonderful person, and fast forward to now, we're getting married on December 2nd. We couldn't be happier. We went through some dark times, especially leading up to my surgery, but now looking back, we feel those times made our relationship even stronger. We could go through any hardship now and get through it successfully, I have no doubt. Instead of having a negative impact, my GERD only made our relationship better in a way.

If I would have kept up thinking no one would want to be with me due to my illness, or dating would irresponsible or not be fair to the other person, my fiance and I would have never met. Never would have had some great experiences and memories. Never would have had a life together. So, don't for a minute let this illness hold you back. Don't let it win. Keep living your life!
Posted 7/2/2012 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Congrats, bowecho!!
Posted 7/2/2012 11:52 PM (GMT 0)
Bowecho: Well said! I agree.
Posted 7/3/2012 12:21 PM (GMT 0)
To the OP, you seem to have a good attitude about it, so you'll probably pick the right course of action.

Personally I would not over-dramaticize it by saying "I have to tell you something".. not that you would. I'd just casually mention it when appropriate. E.g. if you're having symptoms, and you appear uncomfortable, mention that you have acid reflux and that you're trying different meds, getting tests, to get to the bottom of it.

It's important to me to be working towards things in life, and if I were dating someone and they had acid reflux, the only thing I would want would be that they are working towards improving it.
Posted 7/3/2012 3:59 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you ladies and guys. That was a lot of good advise. I didn't mention anything on the first date, but will see how it plays out.
Posted 7/3/2012 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
Ringo,

Great thread and topic.  Lots of good advice from our members and I think you are all right on track.  You are not your disorder - you just happen to have GERD.  :-)

Happy 4th of July!

Kitt

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