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Husband's psoriasis worsening, my frustration is, too

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Posted 9/29/2010 7:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi friends,
I write this as a spouse of someone battling psoriasis, so please bear with me. First off, my husband is the love of my life. So please understand where I'm coming from.
My husband has been battling psoriasis for a couple of years now. This past summer, it has really taken hold and is spreading. He now has extensive plaques on both shins and his elbows and his olive skin is now splotchy white where I think some previous outbreaks have tamed. We have gone to a natural laundry soaps, mild/moisturizing lotions as a family. He tried turmeric, but his blood is thin and it caused bleeding concerns. Same with fish oil. He has used various prescription creams and steroids, which help for a while but then it rears its ugly head again.
His legs and scalp are itchy and shedding all of the time. I know that he is pretty miserable and embarrassed and I long to make it better. Worsening my frustration, however, is that he doesn't do the simplest things I've read that he could do to make it better (or at least not as bad) - such as MOISTURIZING, MOISTURIZING, MOISTURIZING constantly. His skin is so extremely dry and cracked. I try to encourage him to put lotion/creams/vaseline on immediately after a shower (within three minutes), and he doesn't do it, unless I remind him. If he does do it on his own, he'll do it 15 or more minutes later, after the skin has already dried. I have put creams by the sink in our bathroom to hopefully make it a natural part of his shower routine. We keep another bottle of lotion downstairs in the family room so that it's always within reach for all of us. There are times I've noticed that he showers and simply goes about his business without putting any lotion on at all. This just doesn't make any sense to me, and as his spouse is extremely frustrating.
He is a pharmacist, so this should be more than common sense. There is a medical basis for why keeping the plaques moisturized makes sense. Because he doesn't moisturize, the skin gets drier and drier, cracks and he sheds on the couch. He will get up, walk off and leave the skin there. Honestly, this annoys me.
I am trying to be supportive. I don't want to nag and I try to keep mentioning it to a minimum. I don't want him using those expensive prescription meds that have so many side effects and might cause other problems. And he doesn't either. But is it too much to ask that he make a concerted effort to keep his skin moisturized? Wouldn't he be more comfortable and might it actually alleviate some of the discomfort and shedding?
I have spent numerous hours trying to research natural treatments for this condition. He takes blood pressure medicine, which I know can contribute to the condition and he obviously can't stop taking it. I came across some writings about milk thistle being of help. I purchased a bottle and asked him to try it. He did what he usually does. Took 2 of 3 recommended pills daily for about three days and said it didn't work. Why won't he stick with something natural long enough to see if it might actually work?
I have Crohn's disease, and he has been very supportive of me. However, I have always been very proactive in trying to do whatever I can to mitigate this disease. When my docs wanted to put me on heavy duty prescription drugs, I did some research and decided to try acupuncture. Despite my skepticism, I stuck with it religiously for a couple of weeks and began to get relief. I am now symptom free. My acu thinks they may be able to help my husband, too. But he is so stubborn, he refuses to try it. I liken his psoriasis to my Crohn's in this way: What if I decided to come off of all of my meds/supplements and just quit acupuncture because I didn't want to be bothered. (Downing nearly a dozen pills a day for the last five years is certainly an inconvenient pain, but I do it because it helps keep me healthy and functional and doesn't stress my family) It's also not a pretty disease. I would flare and my family would be the ones dealing with a lot of the fallout. I just don't get why he won't do or try some of these noninvasive, but potentially helpful things. I hope that I don't sound like a terrible person. I love him. I want him to feel and get better. I would appreciate any advice or insight you may be able to provide.
Posted 3/16/2011 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
Can any of you offer any suggestions?
Posted 3/17/2011 1:47 AM (GMT 0)
I don't know what to tell you. It sounds to me like he just doesn't think it's that big of a deal. OR maybe he doesn't really believe that anything will really make that much of a difference so he figures, "why bother?" As a pharmacist he should know that you can't just take something for 2 or 3 days and expect a cure. Have you ever had a heart to heart with him about it? My husband is stubborn, but also a little lazy when it comes to stuff like that. If I were to hand him a vitamin and a glass of water every day he would take it. But if I don't remind him or actually bring it to him - he's not going to take it - probably his whole life long. Is your husband like that? Or is he totally resistant to the whole concept of treating it?

PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, but it almost sounds to me like it bothers you more than it bothers him. He's going to do whatever he's going to do, but is it possible for you to find a way not to let it bother you so much? I don't mean that in any kind of a snotty way at all (since tone is so hard to read). I'm just genuinely asking.

You don't sounds like a terrible person at all. I just think you might be beating your head against a brick wall for nothing. I'm reminded of that phrase, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." He's not going to stick with a regimine until he really wants to. All you can do until then is be supportive and offer suggestions if you think he's open to them.
Posted 3/17/2011 1:55 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Stef. I love, love, LOVE him. He's a wonderful, but stubborn person. You may be right that it bothers me more than him. But he scratches a lot, and it is very clear that his skin is extraordinarily dry, so moisturizing just seems like it makes sense and might make him more comfortable. I understand in a lot of ways that he can't help it. But I'm also tired of hearing him say he tried this or that and it didn't work when he didn't really try it at all. Taking 2 pills once a day when you're supposed to take three pills twice a day and then saying it doesn't work is just nonsensical. Even though he is a pharmacist, he doesn't put much stock in taking medicine. He'll hardly take any medicine even when he has a migraine. It's all very maddening to me, since I have a chronic condition, too, and try to be very mindful of how it not only affects, but my family, too. I know he can't help the skin flaking, but he most certainly could clean it up and not leave it all over our couch and floor. Now THAT bothers me!! I have had many heart to hearts with him. And clearly I'm at a loss for what to say or how to say it that it would really get my point across to him - that I love him dearly, sympathize with his discomfort and am trying to be supportive/ offer ways to make him more comfortable. I know that there must be something out there that can help. I'm just at a loss for what to do.
Posted 3/17/2011 2:05 PM (GMT 0)
Of course you love him. Of course you do! That doesn't mean these men can't drive us crazy with their stubborness! What if you just down right get to the point and hand him the dustbuster or the vacuum as he's standing up to leave the couch? :) I would say, "I love you, but I don't want to sit in your flakes. That's gross." And hand him the dustbuster. Would he get supremely offended? My husband might. He's such a slob with some things and when I outright tell him that I am not his mother and I'm not cleaning up after him, he gets all pissy. But I don't care. I don't ask him to clean up after me with the gross stuff so... He knows I'm right, but he doesn't want to be told. I guess it's because he's embarrassed? I don't know, but either way it's gross and I'm not having it. You could get all "Italian old lady" on him and cover your couch in plastic! LOL

You say he's not really big on medicine. Is he ok with the idea of natural stuff? I know you said he tried it before, but only for a few days. Is that because he was lazy/giving up? Or because he's not a believer in natural supplements? If he's ok with the idea of that you could say, "I read an article about xyz and it's shown very good results at helping psoriasis. Do you think that's something you'd be interested in trying?" I did that with my hubby and his high triglicerides (sp?) and he said ok. So... Maybe he'd be open to that? However, if you've been bringing it up a lot lately, maybe you'll want to wait a month or so, so that he doesn't feel like you're harping on him.
Posted 3/17/2011 9:19 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks again. I really appreciate the advice and someone who understands what it is like to be a spouse dealing with these issues. My husband is a skeptic of everything. Medicinal, herbal, natural. I have tried and tried many times to offer suggestions here or there. He is stubborn and doesn't really believe anything will work. Maybe it's that he doesn't want to get his hopes up. So I'll keep trying and suggesting from time to time and pray that we somehow stumble upon something that will work. That's if I don't ring his neck for not cleaning up after himself!! LOL.
Suggestions are welcome from anyone at any time!
Posted 4/25/2011 3:14 AM (GMT 0)
EMBREL

I was covered on 75% of my body. Had tried everything. Started Embrel and in 5 weeks I was 99.5% clear. Have stayed clear for over 2 yrs.
Posted 5/1/2011 9:47 PM (GMT 0)
No advertising or soliciting allowed on the forums, thanks

Post Edited By Moderator (Shaz032) : 5/13/2011 7:46:28 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/15/2011 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
jhicks. I go through the same thing with my fiance. We both go through it but he refuses to moiturize. It is a pain to cover body after shower but so helpful. He scrathces and leaves flakes. I get so grossed out. I dont understand why they would be itchy and flakey rather then take 2 minutes a day to put on moisturizer. I too go to Dr. constantly to feel better for him as well as myself. He gets irritated with me if I suggest things to help. I did find a way to help his without him knowing yeah   Eating tuna helps and he likes Tuna. I always have it here for his lunch. Hope your husband likes Tuna you can try it. Good luck, guys can be so stubborn.
Posted 5/17/2011 7:20 AM (GMT 0)
well, look my friend... it's not about medication.. it's about FOOD, EXERCISE, ANTI-STRESS TECHNIQUES and THE BEACH.. there's NO other solution for this terrible Thing I suffer from and your beloved husband suffers too

I don't know from where to start as there are too much things to do!!
but let us start with the easy anti-psoriasis process

1- Eliminate alcohol, yes ELIMINATE, alcohol doesn't just worsen Psoriasis, IT PROVOKES IT
2- Eliminate all hot peppers, you can still use black pepper
3- Avoid the Nightshade Family: Tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, bellpeppers, eggplants.. they're known to trigger psoriasis and many people healed just by eliminating these from the diet (it may work wonders for some and have only an acceptable result for others, but in both cases it's pretty good)
4- The MOST IMPORTANT known cure for psoriasis, forget the herbs, it's about ACV (Apple Cider Vinegar) many many many people cured by drinking about 35 MLs/day (or 1.2 oz/day) ACV is wonderful, and also you can spray ACV on your skin specially face, scalp, neck and chest, it takes 2 seconds and the itching is gone for some time, and with time the areas sprayed will get wonderfully better and may even clear up
Don't believe it? Google it, type "apple cider vinegar psoriasis" and read the wonderful effect it has on psoriasis!!!
5- Vitamins, vitamins and vitamins, from natural sources!! He should eat A LOT of green leafy vegetables full of vitamins and fibers!! squeeze two oranges each day and drink it!! don't eat bread for at least an hour after eating a fruit!!
6- an onion a day keeps psoriasis away, and it's the case for garlic too!! we psoriasis sufferers are known by all medical sources to have high amounts of toxins in our bodies and the intestines fail to manipulate those toxics so the last way out of the body is the skin!! onions and garlic are known as cleaners and very effective cleaners too!!
7- not less then 20 minutes of sun/day preferably while the patches are getting to the sunlight
8- summer is coming, so beach every single day, start out with 20 minutes the first day.. 25 the second to reach a full hour in about 10 days, let him put his entire body in the water and come out and let the sun dry all the water, then again into the water, and back up to dry, NEVER GET BURNED!! also Google it, the beach makes wonders!!!
9- Exercises, very important!! 15 minutes of soft exercises and 30 minutes of hard ones daily!!! when we sweat, the sweat keeps us from having a dry skin and helps relieve itching and has a hand in clearing up, the exercises also relieve stress which has 50% of the psoriasis, if you can control stress you can control 50% of the outbreaks!! Exercises also help in moving the muscles and not giving space for psoriasis to continue growing underneath the skin
10- Avoid sugar, sugar triggers psoriasis, said and proven
11- Eat WHOLE WHEAT ONLY
12- Avoid Meat, but eat a lot of fish, specially tuna and SARDINES, and eat lots of chicken too
13- Avoid foods with preservatives, as they're hard for the body to get rid of, imagine the case for someone with psoriasis who has problems clearing the toxins
14- he's a pharmacist, so i know he could mix this cream, VASELINE 50g, SALICYLIC ACID 2g, DERMOVATE (tube of 100g), it's really really good!!! it helps clear and i'm sure, it really helps me, twice/day to start wih on places that are really going bad, after a week once/day for about a month and a half, when the skin goes smooth, once/2 days for about a month and a half, then once/3 days for 3 months, for the areas that have quickly healed from the once/day stage you can go quickly to the once/3 days stage without going through the once/ 2 days stage, if psoriasis is still really stubborn don't switch to another stage, it it's still itching then you have to put at least once/day without changing stages, if it's going really bad stay on the twice/day stage, it might seem difficult now, but it's really really easy doing it, he just needs a strong will to become better.. it's effective!! i'm clearing up!! this cream SHOULD NOT be used on the face, neck, scalp or genitals!!! it's wonderful for the skin in other areas but these are sensible areas with fewer skin!!
15- STRESS, 50% of psoriasis, manage stress, sadness, anger.. if he has any, help him and tell him to avoid any stressful or sad situation, when i get angry it takes half an hour for my calm psoriasis to start itching!! and when it's itching it's really going bad!! praying and mediation helps a lot... avoid sad or tense movies, sad heartbreaking news, it may seem silly, but it has a bad effect on psoriasis
16- VERY IMPORTANT, NOT less then 2 liters of pure water/day!!!
water clears the toxins!! it's crucial!!

there are lots of things to talk about, i'll never finish here, i've learned and read so much, i have psoriasis on my right hand (severe) on my scalp (severe) on my neck(moderate) chest(mild) back(moderate) right and left leg(moderate) both knees(left knee-mild right knee-moderate) on my toes(mild) my genitals(moderate) stomach(mild)
after going through a strict diet and style of life, here's my results
right hand(moderate and clearing but it's a little stubborn now as it was clearing at first then came back!! but now it's getting okay) scalp(moderate and clearing up) neck(mild and clearing) chest (99% clear) back(mild and nearly 99% clear) right and left leg (95% clear), left knee(still mild but clearing) right knee(moderate and clearing) toes(99% clear) genitals(100% clear) stomach(100% clear)

although i'm struggling with stress and passing through some hard time with my family and relationships, you noticed the results, and can't wait to get to the beach in summer!!! your husband maybe will not follow the strict diet and style of life i'm following, but he can benefit from some of things, though i strongly recommend the strict diet and life, it's up to him to decide what to do, start by throwing information here and there about what you're reading to get him interested don't tell him everything at once he'll get angry about "controlling his life".. slowly get him the information and slowly stick to the diet, start buying Whole wheats, talk to him about ACV the sun and alcohol, slowly.. that's my advice.. he may not follow all of the things but here are some essential things that help!!

and now i'll give you the links of the strict and difficult diet i'm following that i didn't mention above..
I'm following the Dr Pagano diet, Dr Pagano has 40 years of experience with psoriasis and has cured ALL OF HIS PATIENTS by food ONLY! some patients had 99% of their bodies covered healed within 3 months to 1 year...

http://www.psoriasis-aid.com/pagano_psoriasis_diet/recommended_and_not_recommended_products.html
http://www.psoriasis-aid.com/pagano_psoriasis_diet/alkali-forming_and_acid-forming_products.html
http://www.psoriasis-aid.com/pagano_psoriasis_diet/specific_regimen.html
http://www.psoriasis-aid.com/pagano_psoriasis_diet/specific_regimen.html
and read about ACV, alcohol and the SUN.. and try the cream i use!! and keep the idea that he can't cure in a month, or even see results in a week, he should know that it takes time, and IT'S NOT DIFFICULT, stay strong!
and take care.. thanks for reading, have a nice day
Posted 5/18/2011 12:19 PM (GMT 0)
Broken wings, Thanks for info. We do alot of the list, but my fiance loves hot peppers, didnt know that. going to print your list. We both have tried all of the prescription meds, they are a waste of money for us. Thanks again for info.
Posted 9/30/2011 7:10 PM (GMT 0)
some peope ha ve tried taking a shower with lemon joy the [old fashioned lemon joy , Or soaking in a bath with about 1/2 cup of lemon joy . Then put unscented neutragena oil on . This will soften the scales and the oil will keep the skin moist and stop the itching , Another remedy that people are having success with [and I like this because it works ]take a shower and you can use lemon joy if you want .Then mix in a spray bo ttle equal amounts of glycerin and with hazel ,MUST USE WITCH HAZEL WITH NO ALCOHOL} Thayers witch hazel is good...and shake . spray on your skin and rub slightly . [Do not use lemon joy on baby-not advised .
cathy from ma
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