Undiagnosed.....Confused!!

Hello, I am not a new member but a returning member. I am not sure how long it has been sense I visited this site, except that it has been "A LONG TIME". I stopped visiting the site because I felt that I was focusing too much on my fatigue/pain and that this focus was only making me worse. I have had flares of fatigue/pain for years (I am 49y/o, noticeable fatigue/pain began around 30y/o).
I think my triggers started at a very young age and have just continued. I was raised on daily fear/pain. My father was a scary person, my siblings and I were abused mentally/emotionally/physically/sexually (I am not sharing this information for sympathy but for explanation). This continued until I was around 14 (with my oldest sister getting pregnant/revealing the secret to mom only to have dad return to the family for 2 more years). As you can see my child hood was nothing but stress and this continued well into my young adult years with the anger/confusion/emotional pain leading to depression. I was married, have two wonderful children and got divorced (at the same time discovered both my brothers and two cousins had AID's at the height of discovery). At 29 I began a job where I am exposed to chemicals that are known to be carcinogens. This is when the physical problems began. I became sick more often (respiratory problems). At this point Dr's became involved in my continued stress. Nothing like having a Dr lean into you with his hand on your shoulder and ask "are you seeking counseling at this time" (remember, I was dealing with depression). I have nothing but extreme stress the first half of my life (Both brothers and cousins died of AID's, my father was murdered {talk about mixed emotions..wow} my current husbands ex-wife was murdered having a huge affect because of two sons greatly affected) I could go on, but I won't. There is just way to much. I have had Psychiatrist and Counselors tell my I should write a book...lol. The point I am trying to make is that I had the more then average amount of stress in my life, topped off with daily chemical over exposure.
Approximately 10 years ago I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's. I have had nothing but health (mental/physical) problems sense then. The Dr's of course focus on the mental issues (and sometimes I feel like my family does to because I don't have a Dr who is taken me seriously). I have been to Endo/Internal Med/Family Practice/Rheum, all who say nothing is wrong (at first it was depression, now its age). My current Dr, while dealing with my most recent complaint (neck/shoulder PAIN) pretty much accused me of wanting drug's (she had me on Norco, which wasn't helping, so I wasn't even taking it). I almost "fired" her, but I couldn't stand the idea of starting all over again. I really like her, she is a little spit-fire, lot of spunk and a good sense of humor. I had an appointment with her, taking my Norco with me, I showed her the pills (she said "Your not taking them") I told her 'I am not here for drugs, I need answers and for the pain to stop. At this point I was diagnosed with DJ and Facet Disease, with moderate to severe Stenosis C3-C5. I think our relationship has taken on a change.
This brings me to my current issues (sorry it took so long getting here).
Off and on through out the past ten years I have had (almost falling to sleep behind the wheel, while driving) fatigue/joint/muscle aches, pain weakness, I am at a point now where the aches sometimes pain is constant and has been affecting me more for the past several months. I am thinking it is arthritis, but I am not sure. You would think that, because I stood up for my self with my Dr, I would be able to address this with her but I am afraid to (past haunts). Don't no where to go from here. Would appreciate any input I can get from people who are going through the same situation. As you can tell, I am not afraid to put it all out there, so please do not hesitate to ask any questions or make any comments you may feel necessary.
The first half of my life was racked with "PAIN" and I didn't feel like I could do anything to stop it. I don't intend to spend the last part of my life feeling that helpless. I know I can't stop this but I sure as heck can do my best to slow it down. With help and support!!!

I have had test done in the past for RA and they have come back negative. The symptoms are defiantly confusing. I am having a hard time figuring out if mine lean more towards RA, OA or related to my thyroid. No wonder the Dr's have such a difficult time. I'm worried because I am having a difficult time with some aspects of my job. i don't want to have to give it up, I am one of the few people lucky enough to have a job that I love. I am having difficulty bending over, sitting, some lifting and walking. The thing that bothers me the most is the exhaustion. I was on a 2 1/2 hour drive (by myself) and had to stop twice because I was falling asleep at the wheel. Does anybody else get the exhaustion this bad?

Reggie

I am currently on Lexapro (over a decade) and Lamictal (3-4 years), I take Adavan when need (not very often). I sometimes have difficulty making the distinction between the depression and disorder, so I try to think it through, watch my symptoms and my mood. I don't think I am depressed, I am feeling motivated to do things, but feeling betrayed by my body. I wake up thinking of the things I want to do today, but then the fatigue/weakness/aches keep me from doing most of those things. I feel like I have a positive attitude about what is happening at this point, I want to take control, do what I can to stop or slow what ever is going on. I am hoping with support and guidance from people who have years of personal experience I will accomplish this goal. Just need to know where/how to start.

Reggie