asthma controlling life.

Here's my story... if anyone cares to read.


I was diagnosed with severe asthma when I was two. Throughout the years I've had some pretty bad asthma attacks, but recently since I've graduated high school and have been cut off my medical... asthma has controlled my life.
Whenever I got sick, missing so many days of school, I would run to the hospital and get my prednisone or my antibiotics, but now things are different for me. I use to end up in the hospital twice a month. I can't keep going to the hospital when I don't have the money to pay for anything. I even stopped going to my clinic because I thought there was nothing they could do. I'm twenty years old now.
I found out that I can apply for ssi from social security to try and get my medical back on and try and get my right treatment. I've always struggled with medicine not working and over the years as I've grown older... I just felt more hopeless. My doctor couldn't find out what was wrong with me and he even said that he didn't know what else to do for me. My asthma was that bad.
Well, I've applied for ssi and they denied my case, probably because I stopped going to the doctors and I've stayed away from the hospital, so I had no up to date medical record. Anyway, they gave me a breathing test and the lady said my test was unusual in people with asthma. I wasn't scoring on a level that asthma people should score. Had me thinking I had copd or something else. After that visit I had to go into the er because I suffered exacerbation and was put on prednisone. I only grew sadder. After being denied twice, I've finally did my hearing and awaiting my court date. During this time, for the past year and some months... a lot has happened. I've always suffered from depression, because I was convinced my life was this way, always sick and suffering, but it's worse.
I see things, like bugs and I suffer from anxiety. I can't sleep and I avoid everything that pertains to asthma triggers. My mental state and phobia of death has gotten so worse, that I don't go outside anymore.
I fear if I walk out that door... I'll never come back. My normal life is done and I'm at my breaking point. I take advair and I have my Ventolin pump but even then... life isn't so kind to me. My mom convinced my to go back to the doctors and they made me apply for glaxosmithkline, so they give me advair and Ventolin, but my meds never worked so great before anyway. She even told me to go see a psychiatrist. I panic a lot and I can't function. I was always too afraid to get a job cause I didn't want to die and I'm losing hope on my life. My family drills me about not working, but they don't understand the amount of fear I hold inside.
I have an appointment with mental health in a few days to see if they can help. I spoke with an individual counselor who gave me an assumption of what my sicknesses may be. She said from what I've told her, it sounds like I have psychosis, severe depression and severe anxiety. She couldn't even talk to me though cause I haven't seen a psychiatrist, so I had to make an appointment and it's taking me months to get in. By this time, my conditions have only worsened.


Overall, I don't do anything that may give me an asthma attack. Even if it means laughing and enjoying my day. I think about the end and if the day I have right now is my last. Will my asthma win? I'm scared for my hearing and if I'm denied at that level then I don't want to continue anymore. I don't have a life and I don't have support. I just stay to myself and I don't go out.

Is there anyone willing to talk to me?

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/19/2013 5:27:44 AM (GMT-7)

Hello Nini,

This is Kitt and I was dx with anxiety and depression many years ago. I can sense the despondency you must be feeling in your post. 

From reading your thread I understand you are no longer on your parents? health insurance.  The new rule is instead of being kicked off your parents' insurance plan when you turn 18 or when you graduate from college, now you can stay on your parents' insurance plan until you turn 26.

Insurance companies can no longer deny you coverage because of a pre-existing condition, like asthma or diabetes.

And now, insurance plans are beginning to offer free preventive services like checkups and immunizations. Check with your clinic and see if they have information for you on accessing a social worker or someone in their system who could help you get the medical coverage you need.

While your waiting for SSI, keep busy looking for an alternative to provide you with medical coverage.

Having health problems, no insurance and feeling anxious and depression is a pretty tough place to be so consider joining our Anxiety Forum as there are a lot of members in that forum who have problems that feel insurmountable to them but by coming here and talking with us they realize they are not alone.  We know what your going through so join us and let us offer you support here in HealingWell.

To find the Anxiety/Panic Forum just click on this link:

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9

Kindly,

Kitt

Advair is not the only medication out there and you really need to ask your doctors about trial medications to see what else you can use that will help. I use asmanex twisthaler and xopenex for my rescue and if you google both these medications they might have a low income affordable rate for you to at least be able to try them, but you need to go and ask a doctor about stronger medications for your asthma. You need to try to find an affordable healthcare plan and ask your parents for help with payments until you can get on a better asthma medication.
I'm one here that advair did not work good and I didn't tolerate albuterol either, and some doctors do have samples of medications for you to try. My doctor gave me asmanex and it helped me. So another medication might work better for you. don't give up and I agree you can beat this. You are brave enough to come on here for help then you can seek out better help for you. and you can win.
Many well wishes...

Try going to Symbicorts website through a google search to see if they have a low cost plan for those that need the medication. Ask at your pharmacy for low costs medication plans...just something to look into...

Hi Nini do not give up,there is a lots of of other meds out there I m trying to find the right one for me too adviar did not work on me ,Dulera not work on me as well. I m on pulmicort .5 mg and duoneb and but still having problems. Take care and do whatever you can to get your meds. send letters to companies that make the meds. ask for free samples etc. just do not give up.