Mom ......... First Christmas and Year Without You........

 Mom I sat in my chair early yesterday morning

 Tree lights flashing and decorations all looking good

 I felt this tug at my heart and tears on my face .........  

 I know you wont be here this year

With me in body ,but in Spirit for sure

I hurt like hades everytime I think of you

I miss you ,hearing your voice

Your laugh and yes even the griping at dad lol

I have never had a Christmas without you

so this is all new to me and I need to find a way

 to have me get thru it

it seems harder each day

 

Nothing is the same

No family "get togethers' ...they have all gone their way

I wish it wasnt this way Mom

But I know now that you

Just could not stay and face another day

Of pain and sadness for not remembering and

drifting away .........

A few tears fell down of course as I knew

I had to get off my rear as you woulld say and " get it done "

For Cait and Howie,Dad and self

The tears will still come but I know that is normal and

I also know that you will be here with me in Spitit

Everyday for the rest of my Life

You left quite the legacy with your ways and your love

I know you are watching me constantly

Yes I know from" Up Above"

Mom ......

I love and miss you so much I hung a " Special " ornament in memory of you

I will take a few minutes Christmas Morning and talk to you

Like I usually do

I miss that more than anything and I will continue this

Til I am beside you "Up There" and can talk to you

 In person once again and share a laugh or two

Loving and missing you all

 the days I am

More so now as the Favorite time of yours draws near

I know you will be watching from up above

 Wishing us hope happiness and love

 

Love and miss you Mom so much

                                         Your Loving daughter

                                                                              Lyn

 

  

  

Am doing my best Mom to keep it together as I know thats what you would want me to do for self Howie Cait and dad

Mooney
thanks so much
you brought tears to my eyes
I apprecaite your caring and kind words more than you know

Yes I have lost so many loved ones in past hubby's, a child at 6 yrs of age, and grama almost 2 yrs to the day Mom passed in March .........
I think it was harder as well as my first hubby was killed on St Paddy's day 17th) and Mom was gone at 6 am on the 20 th of March ..........27 yrs later ...........it all flooded back ya know and this is my first one w/o Mom so ..........

I have told Cait(daughter) that they ( her dad was sec hubby) are all looking down on us and watching all we do and that they are proud of her for her work and all her accomplishments so far
I know Mom would be beaming knowing Cait was selected to be a Page at the Ontario Legislative BLDGS
due to her marks and community involment
Mom was right into the labor laws and all of that when she was well and worked nursing til got beat up by an orderly wanting drug cart Keys .............then in the last few yrs she developed emphysema and Alzheimers ..........I know she is in a better place but that doesnt stop the hurt ya know
** Thanks for letting me get this out Mooney I needed that so much
Happy Holidays and a better 2007 for us all
God Bless
Lyn

My sweet sweet friend
Thanks so much I am so happy you posted
Yes it is hard but together we can and will get thru it
You have been such a friend and support to me
Thank you for being here
Luvs ya
God Bless
Lyn

I sat and watched your video showing all or some of your life with me and the other kids as well as babes yesterday ..........It was the best thing I could have done .A peace finally came over me
Love you Mom
Lyn

Lyn...just visiting from the Cd board as I saw your post subject. Please know that my thoughts are with you. I had my first Christmas without Mom this year also. Mom passed in March and it has been a strange mix of feelings and thoughts since. Recognizing all the things Mom gave you in her lifetime--and I mean the memories and not the physical things--is a fantastic way to remember her. I had a hard time watching my mother in law spend Christmas with her great grandchild when my mother never met her second great grandchild who came to this Christmas---but I remembered Moms way of making christmas fun when we were little. I brought lemons and candy cane straws for everyone to try becuase Mom always had that treat for us--I made hot cocoa and toast (even though my tummy no longer likes it) and hung her favorite ornament on my tree.
Keep remembering the happiness of Mom and she will live forever for both of us.

How are you making out Habs
Lyn

Up alot in the night
I dont want a birthday w/o you
You gave me life so now you are gone why celebrate it
Love ya

Hockey Fan, good luck meeting this other 'woman'.  it takes a really strong person to do so - i don't know if i'd be able to, but then again, i have never been in that situation. 

Lyn, my heart goes out to you both.  I still have my mom, and i have to admit, the past week or so, i have no been very nice to her at all.  we have both been at each other's throats but i know my attitude hasn't been the greatest.  i am at my desk at work right now crying reading your posts, thinking 'what would i do without her?'  i could kick myself for the way i've been to her.

you never know when life can end, and seeing everything you wrote, i've realized how much i should treasure every moment i have with her.  i'm sorry for the hurt you are going through. 

lots of hugs to you

 

Worrier
I know that since I lost hubby in 79 and my last words to him " if anything happens dont bother calling me " he was dead 15 minutes later ............I never got the chance to tell him I loved him I b** ched him out I have lived with that guilt since and always will
I now make sure I say I love you have a great day to hubby and daughter prior to them going out door as you NEVER know when you will see them again and are blessed each time they walk thru this has alot to do with my a/p
Yes please go and give your mom a hug hum please
Once she is gone life changes so much it is not able to be put into words ......
Thanks for your suport and caring words
Luvs
Lyn

LOL
My brother who is 3 yrs younger was born on my bd as well I lit my baby buggy on fire I ahve been told all my life ......can you imagine
We are akin like twins he and I but its the sil I cannot handle............. greedy ppl bother me
Capricorns .....hmmm there are alot on a/p board it was so hard as mom would always call and say happy BD ya ole __ lol
I know all about being awake with the feelings but I too am slowly trying to forgive if not for her for me ya know
I am sure glad we have more in common than Crohns albeit the dang sadness ya know
Keep in touch hun and if she is using him you do what ya gotta do I will support you 100% plus
Thanks for posting hun
Luvs ya
God Bless
Lyn

bump

THanks sis
I have been missing our cup o tea.......
Drinking it now and loving it so
Luvs
God Bless
Sis